


[I See Myself] Where You Are

by non_tiembo_mala



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jared, First Time, Love at First Sight, M/M, References to past trauma, Schmoop, Science Fiction, Space Pirates, Unspecified Age Difference, references to human trafficking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 09:47:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13121190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/non_tiembo_mala/pseuds/non_tiembo_mala
Summary: Jensen Ackles is a space pirate. He and his crew call theJaybirdtheir home. They keep a low profile for the most part, only getting into enough trouble to get paid, but they might bite off more than they can chew when Jensen takes advantage of an opportunity to rob a dangerous mob boss. The heist goes smoothly enough, filling their hold with crates of goods to sell, until they discover that some of their loot is not actually loot at all, but a person.





	[I See Myself] Where You Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [candygramme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/candygramme/gifts).



> Well, folks, this one definitely got away with me. I signed up for the [spnj2xmas](https://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/) exchange (my first challenge since baby!) thinking even I could manage to get out the 1k minimum. Ha! 
> 
> Candygramme's prompt (space Pirates and their unfortunate prey) spoke to me immediately. I put my own little spin on it, making Jared the prey, and I hope that works for you! The story just kept growing and growing. And growing! I already have one (or maybe two...) timestamps in mind, if people might be interested! There's just so much more I want from these two.
> 
> I also shamelessly quote Star Wars. Not sorry, heh. 
> 
> As always I cannot thank my best friends and betas enough. Without [Dancing_Adrift](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift/pseuds/Dancing_Adrift) and [gluedwithgold](http://archiveofourown.org/users/gluedwithgold) to cheer me on, keep me going, and fix my many mistakes, I wouldn't have much to show for myself. Love to you both ❤️
> 
> The title is from from the song _Always Know Where You Are_ by BBMak, from Disney’s Treasure Planet soundtrack (one of my sources for inspiration, alongside the movie Titan A. E. and the wonderful show Firefly)

“Steve, get those sails open! Chris, tie the lines! Jason, man the rear cannon – we can’t be too careful,” Danneel barks orders as Jensen rushes to take the helm. If this goes the way Jensen hopes it will, there’ll be no need to fire any guns, but that’s so very like Danneel to be overly cautious. Jensen is still laughing all the way to the wheel, chuckling smugly as he flips the switches and engages the ship’s gravity field for breaking away, but Danneel is all business, serious and planning for the worst-case scenario that she thinks Jensen ignores. He doesn’t _ignore_ it, he just knows what he, his crew, and his beloved ship are capable of.

Jensen tucks his plasma pistol back in its holster to the sound of his crew’s resounding shout of ‘aye!’ as they disperse to their tasks. Jason powers up the cannon as per Danneel’s orders and the whirr of its engine makes Jensen smile. The _Jaybird_ – his ship – is a symphony, made up of all the sounds that sing safe and home and _mine_. Nothing makes his heart soar quite like when they take to the skies.

“Gravity field is running at one hundred percent, Captain. Sails are full and we’re set to proceed,” Danneel reports, standing just behind him on his right. Jensen nods, shooting her a near gleeful wink over his shoulder, because they really are about to pull this off. He half expects her to roll her eyes at him, but they’re still “working”, so instead she gives him a stern face that tells him she won’t be celebrating until they’re well on their way.

“Ready now!” Jensen calls out, the ship’s intercom making the delight in his voice heard clearly across all decks. “We’re running quiet till we’re clear and about to make the jump to deep space. And… we’re away!”  
  
They weigh anchor and drift on this system’s solar winds, making a silent retreat, putting the Pellegrino’s cruiser, the _Purgatory_ astern, and chasing the minimum safe distance to make the slip to trans-galactic speed. As they get farther from Pellegrino’s vessel and Jensen punches the calculations into the ship’s computer for their journey, Jensen can _feel_ the adrenaline and excitement in his ship’s atmo; his crew is giving off the energy in near-palpable waves. There’s nothing like a successful haul to really boost morale, and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

The _Jaybird’s_ crew had been between jobs longer than usual. Fuel and food supplies were beginning to wane but so was their cash. When Jensen made berth at the Auston Station to seek work only to find the _Purgatory_ docked as well, it seemed to him a golden opportunity. Jensen may be a bleedin’ pirate, but he’s got standards, unlike Captain Pellegrino, who is feared by many and widely regarded as one of the foulest, most disgraceful creatures to blight the universe with his presence. Jensen despises him, and the chance to rob the man of anything at all and cause him any kind of inconvenience is one Jensen was not about to pass up.

They sent Sadie – their ship’s resident alien – ahead to get aboard undetected. Sadie is a Trochilochiran – small like an old Earth creature called a hummingbird, she hovers and moves just as fast, but she’s covered in soft fur and her wings are a near-translucent skin. Due to her size and speed, she makes an excellent asset for break and enter. This is particularly important for her especially considering that if they’re not working a job that comes with profit, the little git can’t be bothered to help. She sticks around though it’s anyone’s guess as to why. Aboard ship she’s basically bored and occasionally a menace, but she’s damn near impossible to catch so it’s not like Jensen could do anything about it either way. She eats her tiny portion of their food, takes her full-sized cut of the loot, and if it weren’t for her being so incredibly useful when she wants to be, Jensen would be much less gracious.

That being as it may, she definitely proved her worth again today. She shut down the _Purgatory_ ’s security so Jensen, Danneel, and Jason could sneak on. Jason’s a large man so not exactly the greatest at stealth, but being a cyborg means he can haul more loot than the rest of the crew combined, thanks to a titanium reinforced spine and bionic arm. He and Jensen chose and loaded a variety of promising crates onto the flatbed of a hoverform, piling the cart high, that Jason towed back to the _Jaybird_ , all while Danneel and Sadie snuck into the engine room and disabled the _Purgatory’_ s rudder chain to keep them from following should they become prematurely alerted to their missing goods. They were in and out in under fifteen minutes, leaving a trail of unconscious goons in their wake and no one yet the wiser – ever the consummate professionals. Jensen is mighty proud of his crew.

He smiles to himself as the ship’s computer chimes to alert him they’re far enough away to make the slip and, casting a glance behind them, the _Purgatory_ hasn’t budged, likely still unaware they’ve been robbed. He confirms his calculations from before just to be sure.

“Steve, fire her up,” Jensen orders over the intercom, since Steve is below deck in the engine room. “Are we ready?”

“Aye, Captain!” Steve’s voice crackles through the system in reply and Jensen’s grin grows.

“Prepare to slip,” Jensen warns. “In three, two, one–”  
  
The _Jaybird_ ’s engine comes alive and in the next moment the stars around them flare brightly, shift, and then spiral away as they make the jump to trans-galactic speeds. The inertial dampeners keep the transition smooth and as Jensen stands at the helm, setting it to auto-pilot, he gazes around him at the lights that whizz past; stars, nebulas, and indeed whole galaxies blurred into a prism of colours, a fluid aurora that they sail through like an old Earth sea. He’s seen it countless times and still it takes his breath away at every slip. 

Danneel takes a deep breath and sighs, finally relieved now that they’re on their way. Jensen turns and claps a hand on her shoulder.

“What did I say? All’s well. Pellegrino is missing merchandise and we’ve got a full hold, stuffed with goods to barter. It’s a good day, Danni, a good day.”  
  
“Yes, well,” she huffs, a secret smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. It’s as much of an agreement as he’ll get out of her, but it’s enough. “S’pose we better go see what we’ve won for ourselves.”  
  
“Aye, that we will,” Jensen beams. Into the intercom he says, “All hands to the hold! Let’s inspect our treasure.”  
  
Sadie whizzes past him then in a flash, trilling softly as she does when she’s pleased, and Jensen hadn’t even realized she was on the bridge. He rolls his eyes because it’s so typical – you never know she’s there until there’s talk of money – and then he and Danneel follow her below deck where Jason is unloading the crates.

Danneel raises one immaculately kept eyebrow approvingly as she takes in the sight of their stolen goods, and Jason beams at her when he catches her at it.

“This could keep us afloat a good long while, by the look of it,” Chris whistles as he steps out of the galley with Steve right behind him.

“I’ll say!” Steve agrees happily.

It’s been too long since Jensen saw his crew so elated. It was getting touchy before, and they were all a little on edge waiting on the next the job. This haul is an important one, and doubly great since they took it off Pellegrino.

“I did think you were a mite daft for even suggesting it,” Danneel concedes as though it was some secret she thought Jensen’s idea was ludicrous – it wasn’t. She had made her opinion clear from the first. “But I have to agree with Chris. This’ll carry us quite far.”  
  
Jensen’s pride swells in his chest and he can’t resist the urge to be a smug bastard about it.

“And that, ladies and gents, is why _I’m_ the Captain,” he winks obnoxiously and Danneel does roll her eyes now while the rest of the crew laughs.

“Bets on what’s inside any? Care to make a friendly wager or two?” Jason suggests, looking sly.

“That’s hardly fair,” Chris answers while checking the boxes nearest him. “Half o’ these are obviously weapons ‘n plasma cartridges.”  
  
“Aye, but what about this one?” Steve sounds a little awed as he says it and everyone turns towards him. He’s dragging a finger along the edge of a large metal container, roughly the size of a person. It’s smooth and unmarked while bearing a digital locking mechanism. “It’s some kind of safe, maybe? Can we even get into it?”  
  
“T’was too pretty to pass up. And with a lock like that, whatever’s inside is bound to be worth the trouble,” Jensen drawls, moving to join Steve and look over the container with greater scrutiny. “Besides, been a while since we struggled with a lock.”  
  
Jensen’s wearing that smug look again as he nods knowingly at Jason. He steps aside, showcasing the small computer interface for Jason who obliges, leading with his bionic arm.

“Let’s see just how secure it is, shall we?” Jason muses as he places the tips of his first two fingers on the screen. The lockpick program he has installed is illegal, strictly speaking, but Jason knows a guy and, well, _pirates_. Less than a minute later the container chimes as the code is broken and the edges appear with a _pop_ and _hiss_. The lid lifts off and slowly opens while a white cloud of steam or some other, unknown chemical compound rises out of it. The crew takes a surprised step back, putting space between themselves and the substance but not far enough away to miss the audible, obvious gasp that comes from within the container.

Dread immediately floods Jensen’s body, sitting heavy in his stomach like a rock. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Chris, Steve, and Jason exchange worried looks. Sadie hovers over Danneel’s shoulder and somehow even she looks intrigued by this turn of events.

“Jensen, is that…” Danneel says under her breath so only he hears, but Jensen takes a step away, towards the safe that isn’t a safe at all, but a cryochamber.

The cloud dissipates and Jensen is left looking down at the naked figure of a beautiful young man.

 

\---

 

Everything is cold. Jared sucks in a breath and it feels like the first one he’s taken in a while, but that doesn’t make any sense. He might be dreaming, but he can’t be sure. He tries to move but his body feels thick and weighed down. He isn’t sure if he’s actually awake. He tries to open his eyes and has to fight a wave of panic. The world remains dark but is it because he can’t open his eyes or because he can’t see? His breath rattles in his chest and he doesn’t realize how hard he’s shaking right away, still groggy from the transport sedative. _Transport sedative_. All at once it comes back to him: Pellegrino’s goons knocking at his door, his family coming up short for the tax – again – his mother’s terrified cry when they say they’re taking Jared as payment, the sharp stab of an injection in his neck and, finally, darkness.

Jared sits up too fast, fueled by fear and panic, but as the brightness outside the container he’s in hits his eyes, he understands distantly that his vision is returning slowly upon his waking. His heart pounds hard in his chest and he tries to look around, looking for Pellegrino or the asshole who shoved him in this box, but everything is blurry and his body still fights him.

“Whoa, whoa! Easy kid, easy. We’re not whoever you think we are, not gonna hurt ya.”

A rumbling voice reaches his ears and it’s gentle, but as the dark mass it belongs to gets closer Jared can’t fight the instinct to push back against his confinement, trying to get away. He registers pain in his back where he hit the wall of the container too hard, but it seems numbed by how cold he is.

“Danni, go and fetch some clothes from my quarters. Chris, a blanket, someth– aye, that’ll do it.”

There are other voices besides this but they’re harder to make out. The only one that’s clear is that same soft rumble as the first, and Jared wants to cling to it just as much as he wants to run. Every instinct he has is telling his body to go, get up, get as far away as he can – a lifetime living under Captain Pellegrino’s self-imposed rule will do that to a person – but he can’t make his limbs cooperate, can’t see more than shadows and blurry figures. He moves jerkily and his breath comes in big, uneven gulps, terror still like ice in his veins.

“Shh, calm now, kid. You’re safe, but you’re gonna go into sleep shock if you don’t slow your breathing and let us warm you up.”  
  
A part of his brain understands what the voice is saying, but Jared can’t focus on those thoughts enough. Something touches his shoulder and he cries out, flinching hard and slamming into the container with enough force to knock the wind out of him.  
  
“Bloody hell!” The person jumps back, apparently also startled, but Jared is spiralling. He can’t catch his breath and while he can see more clearly by the second, he’s getting lightheaded.  
  
“Hey, hey, hey– kid, ya gotta _breathe_!”

He can feel consciousness slipping away from him again, darkness growing at the edges of his vision. A rough, calloused hand catches his face as he starts to nod off, and Jared looks up at a pair of the brightest, greenest eyes he’s ever seen.

Then everything is black.

 

\---

 

“Damn that monster to the depths!” Jensen curses as he paces the galley, aggressively running a hand through his hair. “Transporting humans like they’re fucking cargo…”  
  
“You cannot be surprised, Jensen,” Danni offers cooly.  
  
“No, I’m not. I just– _fuck_ ,” Jensen hisses and turns away from his crew where they sit at the table, instead choosing to stare out the porthole at the star-spotted vastness outside.  
  
“Well,” Steve ventures. “But we’ve done the kid a favour, yeah? He’s better off with us than with Pellegrino.”  
  
“Yer not wrong,” Chris agrees. “But if we were fixin’ for low profile…”

Jensen sighs. “We were always gonna be steppin’ on Pellegrino’s toes. T’was the whole bloody point. Guns and goods he can piss and moan about but replace real easy. Whatever this kid is to him, not so much.”  
  
“So, what Jensen is sayin’ is we’re in a heap o’ trouble,” Jason spells it out and Steve looks stricken.

“What’re we to do then?” he asks, a note of panic in his voice.

There’s a long pause while they wait for Jensen to answer, but he remains as he is, stock-still and staring at the Black.  
  
“Captain,” Danneel urges gently, coming to stand behind him.  
  
“Let’s wait till the lad wakes up, find out what port he calls home, and drop him off!” Steve suggests quickly.

At this, Jensen finally turns around wearing a somber countenance.

“Steve, we may as well hand him over to Pellegrino. Where d’ye think he’ll look for him first? No, we cannot bring him home. Leastways, not any time soon.”

The quiet resumes as the reality of it sets in.

“Jensen,” Jason starts, tentative, and Jensen stops him before he can get any farther.

“Before any even think it, we’re pirates, yes, but we’re no murderers of innocents. If there’s any question to that, then you’ve forgotten what you signed up for. He’s taking no space walk departing from this ship. It’s not up for discussion.”

Steve and Chris look at each other wide-eyed in surprise. Danneel’s expression softens and Jason takes a defensive step back.

“That’s not what I was going to suggest,” Jason says gently. “You know us better ‘n that, Captain.”  
  
Jensen looks at his friend a long moment before nodding, apologetic. This thing has him rattled. It’s hitting awful close to home, and Jensen finds himself feeling fiercely protective of the stranger currently bundled up and sleeping it off in his quarters. When he thought it’d be a hell of a good time to rob Pellegrino, it never dared cross his mind he’d be dealing with a _person_ , responsible for another soul atop them that signed up to be under his command.

“I was just going to ask that ye consider he might not be so innocent. We’ve no notion as to why Pellegrino has him locked up and stowed below.”  
  
The more rational part of Jensen’s brain knows that Jason is simply trying to be logical. Detached, really. Objective. Saying things that in another situation, perhaps Jensen might say himself. But the suggestion is too much. Jensen’s heart is heavy with memory, hurting anew as though seeing this kid – because for all his long limbs, he cannot be much past 18, if that – has opened old scars.

In the moment it takes him to breathe and move to open his mouth, his lips about to part with harsh words, his eyes must reveal himself to Danneel, because she steps in between them with a hand light on Jensen’s chest. She turns to the crew to address them instead.

“May I remind you that the Captain does not need to consult you. This discussion is closed, for now at least. Jason, you’ll clean the guns. Steve and Chris, you’ll unpack and document the rest of the loot. Then you may consider yourselves free for the evening. Dismissed to duties.”  
  
“Aye, ma’am,” is the quiet chorus in response, and then the galley is cleared apart from Jensen and Danneel.

Jensen deflates and sits, Danneel coming to join him. They rest in the familiar silence of friends who’ve been through much together.

“You’re thinking of keeping him on,” Danneel states. It’s not a question, and Jensen turns to her then. Of course she knows him best, what this feels like to him, where his head – and more truthfully, his heart – is at.

“Aye, that I am,” he sighs, and holds his head in his hands. “Am I daft for thinking it? Is it such a terrible notion?”  
  
Danneel is quiet a moment as she thinks, long enough that Jensen looks at her finally through parted fingers. When she catches him, she smiles playfully.

“Well, that depends. We still haven’t rid ourselves of the last poor creature we let aboard,” she’s teasing, but it has the desired effect, easing some of the tension in Jensen’s body. He even lets free a little chuckle.

“Where is the little blight, anyway?” Jensen asks, dropping his hands and looking around the galley for any sign of Sadie lurking.

“Honestly? I last saw her in your quarters as we left the kid there. She seemed strangely interested in him.”  
  
Jensen quirks an eyebrow. “Is that cause for concern? I’ve ne’er seen her interested in naught but money before.”    
  
“I doubt that. She’s quick as lightning and handy on the job but she’s harmless,”  Danneel laughs reassuringly, then looks up as if to think hard. “At least, I’m fairly certain. I don’t actually know much about Trochilochirans, come to think of it.”

“Nor do I,” Jensen admits, shrugging. He sighs and Danneel smiles softly.

“Whatever you decide, you know I’ll support you. And the crew… well, they’ll come around. They’ll follow you ‘round the galaxy, into the very belly of an enemy ship; they’ll follow you in this, too, _Captain_.”  
  
She leans into his title fondly as she leans into his shoulder just a moment, affectionate like they rarely are despite their long friendship, because Danneel really is the polished professional of this crew, and old habits die hard.

“Thanks, Danni,” Jensen murmurs, and he squeezes her hand appreciatively.

With that, she stands to leave, but pauses in the doorway. “There is the problem of the bunks.”  
  
“That hasn’t escaped me,” Jensen admits. “It’s fine for now. He’ll stay in my quarters for the time being. I’ll be alright on the bridge, Danni. Don’t worry about me.” 

“Aye, sir,” Danneel responds without arguing, though Jensen can see the look in her eye that tells him she wants to. She departs and Jensen gives himself a moment. He does long for the bottle of good whiskey he’s got tucked away in his desk, but he’s not about to risk interrupting their guest’s much needed rest. Instead, resigned, he makes for the bridge. He’ll lay back in his captain’s chair, put his feet up on the wheel, and sleep under the stars.

 

\---  
  


Jared wakes slowly this time, wrapped warmly in a bed comfortable like it might be home, so he’s in no rush. There’s a soft rumble in his ears, some distant echo of a voice in his dreams, and Jared just listens to the pleasant sound of it while sleep retreats and consciousness comes to him. Wakefulness brings with it memories, and Jared sits up suddenly on a gasp.

A quick glance tells him he’s alone, and he scans the small room for an idea of where he is. There’s a thrum of panic simmering low throughout him, tensing like the first gentle tug of the string on a bow, but there’s that echo again – _whoa, easy kid, not gonna hurt ya, calm now, you’re safe_ – and it keeps him from succumbing to the urge to run. The room is quite bare, but it’s not a prison, and despite it’s tidiness it feels as though it belongs to someone – that Jared is a guest. The desk is naked as are the walls, and when Jared stands to tentatively pull open the closet door, it’s packed full of clothes. The door inside has a mirror and as Jared’s reflection stares back at him, it’s clear he’s been dressed from these clothes, in plain cotton pants and a loose fitting shirt, the buttons left undone at the neck. His hair is a tangled mess that he runs his hands through to tame and there’s a large scrape along his jaw on the right side with a bruise blooming behind it that he doesn’t remember getting. He sighs shakily as he tests it with his fingertips, and withdraws when it proves tender at the slightest touch. He closes the closet and, still alone, continues exploring his surroundings.

He sits at the desk and hesitates only a moment before pulling open the drawers one at a time. In the first there’s nothing of note, scraps of paper and pens, a few loose buttons and other miscellanea. He opens the next and there’s a picture frame facing down. Jared pulls it out to flip it over. There’s two people pictured, both in military uniforms that Jared doesn’t recognize. It’s a man and a woman, both quite young, and they’re standing together informally, arms around each other’s shoulder and waist. They appear to be dressed for ceremony but the photograph clearly is not an official one.

The woman is beautiful. Her hair is drawn back sharply in a military style but it makes her face shine all the more. She smiles with closed lips but she appears happy. The man is, well– Jared swallows thickly as he pours over him. Jared has seen people and aliens of all types passing through Auston Station and he’s never seen any quite like him. He’s breathtaking, and even in the photograph his eyes are the most brilliant green… a flash of a memory, the voice he hears and a blurry face… Jared feels uneasy. He can’t be sure but he’s suddenly of the notion he’s seen them before. His stomach churns subtly at the way he’s torn, fear and apprehension ever present but also a wisp of longing.

Jared’s cheeks warm and he feels at once young and foolish. He tucks the photograph away with trembling fingers, choosing to ignore the leather bound notebook stowed beneath it and moves away from the desk altogether, leaving the last drawer and bottom cabinet untouched.

His gaze lands on the closed curtain and Jared blinks, moving towards it in a rush, his heart pounding hard with hope that he might recognize his surroundings so he can get home–

He pulls back the curtain to reveal a small porthole. He’s on a _ship_. Streaks of flickering colours fly past against the backdrop of never-ending blackness and Jared is– he’s– he’s in _space_.

He could be anywhere, a billion lightyears from home. _Home_. His family.

His eyes blur with the tears as they start to come, and Jared’s panic swells on a crest of sadness. He presses the heels of his hands to his face to try and make everything stop, but his chest shakes on an aborted sob just as there’s a knock on his door.

He startles, jumping and spinning towards the sound, tears momentarily forgotten as his body crackles with adrenaline. He can’t find his voice to respond but the door slowly swings open and behind is the man from the photograph. He steps into the room tentatively, hands up and palms out in a non-threatening manner. He’s older than in the picture – he’s got to be, though it can’t be by too much – with scruff on his face now and his golden brown hair more ruffled. He’s not in any uniform at the moment, instead pants and a shirt similar to what Jared is wearing, though his is tucked in. It’s still open at the neck and he’s got a holster across his chest disappearing under a leather coat, and another like a belt around his waist, a pistol visible on one side and a laser-edged cutlass on the other.

He’s even more stunning – and a bit terrifying – in person.

“Easy now,” the man begins, and it’s him – he belongs to the voice Jared remembers. “I mean you no harm. Sadie here told me you were awake, so I figured it was time we met properly. We’ve both got stories that need tellin’, you understand? I’ll go first, and we’ll start with the basics. I’m Jensen Ackles, and I'm the captain of this ship. Welcome to the _Jaybird_.”

  
\---

 

Jensen is hesitant to enter his quarters without an answer from its temporary occupant but Sadie did say their guest was awake and Jensen wanted to avoid having him wander the ship on his own, lest he bump into another crew member first. When he steps inside, it’s obvious the boy’s crying, and Jensen’s heart tightens, his stomach sinking for the boy’s pain – one he knows all too well – and for having intruded on the private moment.

He’s clearly startled by Jensen’s entrance, spinning to face him with a gasp and then backing up against the wall instinctively with cheeks that glisten and pink up under Jensen’s gaze. The action is subtle but it’s telling. It makes Jensen sad the same way it makes him sad to see how his guest swims in Jensen’s shirt, so very thin that Jensen barely resists the urge to go grab him some food. Instead, Jensen clears his throat gently and starts slow, with an introduction.

He’s met at first with silence and blinks, but Jensen gives him the moment to collect himself, waiting patiently on the first piece of hopefully much information about his newly acquired ward. The boy watches him with big, bright eyes from behind wet, stuck-together lashes, and when Jensen notices his hands flexing nervously at his sides, Jensen sighs.

“I promise you, you’re safe,” Jensen insists calmly. “I know you don’t know me from a black hole but it’s true. I don’t know how you came to be in this situation, but myself and my crew, well… all we did was steal some of Pellegrino’s cargo. We had no notion we’d find you in it.”  
  
Jensen doesn’t miss the way his guest flinches at Pellegrino’s name, or the wide-eyed surprise when Jensen admits to having stolen from him.

“You stole from Pellegrino?” He looks awed, and Jensen hopes that their likely shared hatred of the man might be enough of a place to start.

  
“Why don’t you take a seat and start with your name, then we’ll work on the rest,” Jensen gestures towards the unmade bed as he steps aside and leans against the far wall to give them space. After a moment of deliberate hesitation on his part, all the while staring Jensen down, the young man sighs shakily in apparent defeat and, resigned, takes his seat. Tension bleeds out of him like he’s run out of energy to sustain it, crumpling in on himself and looking surprisingly small for someone so very long and tall.

“I’m Jared,” he finally says. “Jared Padalecki. Auston Station is my home– _was_ my home.” He corrects himself and shuts his eyes tightly before looking away. Jensen’s heart aches for him, smart enough to know there may not be much chance at going back.

“I’ve never been anywhere but the hunk of space metal I grew up on. Pellegrino imposes a tax there– says it’s for our protection, but it only protects us from him. My family are scavengers, but the finds have been too few too often lately. Pellegrino’s men decided that I–” he swallows hard, still not looking directly at Jensen. “They said I’d appeal to Pellegrino’s tastes. That I’d serve as payment instead.”  
  
Jensen’s jaw hurts for how hard he squeezes it shut, one hand involuntarily white-knuckling the pistol at his hip. He thinks of the bruises blooming across Jared’s ribs and the abrasions at his wrists, hurts he was careful of while getting the boy dressed, knows now with certainty that Pellegrino’s men are to blame for those. Jensen knows firsthand the kind of life Jared has only just avoided through some great cosmic accident, and the fierce anger that surges through him makes him want to do much worse than steal from Pellegrino.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Jared. He’s a scourge on the galaxy, Pellegrino. I know the _Jaybird_ isn’t Auston Station, but for your sake I’m glad it’s not the _Purgatory_ either.”  
  
There must be something in Jensen’s voice because Jared looks up at him then, holding his gaze, and Jensen can see it in his eyes as the recognition sets in.  
  
“You can’t take me home.” It’s not a question, instead stated with a sadness that Jensen wishes he could take away.

“I can’t take you home. There’d be no sense to it. It’ll be the first place Pellegrino looks for you, and you’d only be putting your family in harm’s way.” _If they aren’t already_. Jensen doesn’t say that aloud – Jared doesn’t need it right now, though Jensen reckons he may understand nonetheless. For now, at least, Jared can only hope to survive on the run, and hope his family survives in his absence.

Jared seems more settled, however sad, and he looks at Jensen anew, this time as though he’s really taking him in, contemplating. After a long moment, “You’re pirates then?”  
  
Jared isn’t accusing him so much as making a best guess, his expression tentative with his future obviously on his mind as he tries to figure out what that’s going to look like. Jensen can’t help but grin broadly at Jared’s astute conjecture.

“Aye, that we are,” he admits proudly. His smile turns sly before he continues. “As are you, for the time being.”  
  
Jared’s eyes go impossibly wide at the suggestion and he blinks, stuttering. “Y-you– but I– you’re not going to make me walk the plank?”  
  
Jensen bites his lip to keep from laughing, since the boy’s fear is real, even if it is misplaced with Jensen. “I’m a pirate, kid, not a murderer. And dropping you off on some random planet or space station when you’ve ne’er left home before wouldn’t fare much better for you, I’m afraid to say. ‘Course if that’s what you’d prefer, you’re no prisoner and your life is your own, but I really do believe your best option is to stay with m– with us. We’ll feed you, clothe you, teach you, and keep you least as safe as we keep ourselves.”  
  
“Teach me?” Jared looks intrigued while holding obvious reservations. “To be a pirate?”

“There are worse things, kid,” Jensen offers, then lets his voice get soft. “Trust me.

Jensen looks at him in earnest, and after a heavy pause, Jared drops his eyes, and Jensen doesn’t miss the flush creeping up his neck. Something flutters low in Jensen’s stomach as an answer and, taking a deep breath, Jensen obstinately ignores it.

“Why are you being so nice to me? I’m another mouth to feed, I bring you no experience, and you owe me nothing.” Jared looks back up at Jensen with an expression worn beyond his years and revealing much about the kind of life he’s led till now.

Jensen’s throat is tight. His past isn’t something he talks about. Only Danneel knows, and even that knowledge is superficial. She knows just enough to understand what Jensen sees when he looks at Jared. Jared appears lost and hopeful waiting for Jensen’s answer, looking for a reason to trust him, and Jensen wants to give it to him, but… those words won’t come. Instead, he clears his throat and puts on a smile.

“Well, it’s not for you so much as Sadie. She appears to be quite taken with you, actually, and annoying as she is, she’s too valuable on the job for me to toss her new pet,” he winks playfully so Jared has to know he’s teasing, but the diversion works.

“S-sadie?” Jared stutters nervously, looking around the room seeing only the two of them despite Jensen’s nod to his right, and Jensen can’t help but laugh for real now.

“Not to worry, kid,” Jensen reassures him, and as if on cue, Sadie slows down so she can be seen, soft little fluff ball with wings sashaying her way over to Jared, who looks at her in shock. “She’s a Trochilochiran. Totally harmless and usually standoffish, but like I said, she seems fond of you.”  
  
Sadie trills happily and cuddles up against Jared’s shoulder in a way he’s never seen her do with anyone else, and Jared’s surprise melts into a cautious smile as he watches her. Jensen figures now is as good a time as any to make his exit.  
  
“Listen, Jared, it’s still late, and you’ve been through a lot. Get some rest. I doubt Sadie will be far, but when you wake don’t hesitate to come find me. The _Jaybird_ is your home now. The rest of the introductions can wait.”

Jensen turns to go and gets halfway out the door before Jared calls after him. He looks back over his shoulder at him, sitting on Jensen’s bed with Sadie nuzzling up against his neck and looking prettier than anything Jensen’s seen in a long, long time. He tries not to let his eyes linger on the soft pink of Jared’s mouth, instead raising his eyebrows to show Jared he has his attention. Jared hesitates, and Jensen wonders if he’s going to push for the real answer to his question.

“Thank you,” Jared finally says with a small, genuine smile that makes him look impossibly even more beautiful.

  
Jensen can only bring himself to nod in answer, glad to have put off that conversation at least for now, and he pulls the door to his room shut behind as he leaves. He takes a deep breath as he walks away, notices the warm buzz that hums through his veins, and not for the first time, wonders just how much trouble he’s gotten himself into.  

 

\---

 

Jared is without a doubt still tired, a sort of hangover from the transport drug, and very sore from his treatment at the hands of Pellegrino’s trained monkeys, so he does lie back down and fall asleep again after Jensen departs, though the Captain’s handsome face and bright eyes follow him to his dreams, and he startles awake some time later to a harsh knock on the door.

“You’d best be getting up now, kid. I’m comin’ in,” the unfamiliar voice on the other side of the door barks, and then, as promised, the door swings open and a man steps into the room. He’s shorter than Jensen and stouter, dark hair pulled back in a tiny ponytail and pieces falling forward only to be tucked behind his ears. Despite the tone of his voice, his face is friendly, and the brief spike of fear that flashes through Jared at the man’s abrupt entry fades quickly. Not to mention, Jared’s eyes fall to the plate in his hand bearing hot food and the hungry growl of his stomach is Jared’s first, involuntary response. The man barely hides his chuckle at the noise.

“We figured you’d start to waste away on us if we didn’t feed you,” the man says, still with an air of gruffness that Jared has a hard time buying into. He sets the plate down on Jensen’s desk in front of Jared where he sits next to it on the bed. “Captain’s already introduced you, Jared, but I’m Chris. I tend to the ship’s technical systems, basically. Keep the consoles running, the food processor, artificial gravity and all that. So whenever you’re fed and not floating, it’s me you can thank.”  
  
Chris winks and Jared can’t help but smile back at him a little while he tentatively looks at the food. “You can go ahead, didn’t bring it to you just for it to get cold. But don’t go gettin’ used to it. You’ll be feeding yourself from here on in, kid.”

“Thanks,” Jared says softly, and he picks up the spoon and takes his first bite. It didn’t look particularly appetizing but it’s warm, hearty, and just a little bit sweet.

Chris does chuckle then, and Jared blushes when he realizes it’s because he must’ve made a pleased sound at the taste before eagerly going for more.

“It’s oatmeal,” Chris explains. “Old Earth food. Real simple, but it’ll get you through the morning. Glad you like it, ‘cause it’s what’s on the menu most days.”  
  
Jared nods but doesn’t stop eating long enough to answer. He hadn’t even realized how hungry he was until he started to eat, and it occurs to him he has no idea how long it’s been since his last meal– he swallows hard as it hits him.

His last meal with his parents. They were tense – the whole station was – because it was tax time and they all knew they were short. They were scared, and Jared remembers telling his parents it’d be okay, just to ease the lines on his mother’s face. He had no idea how wrong he’d be.

His mouth goes dry and he stares at the remainder of the food on his plate with a sick feeling growing in his stomach, tears welling up in his eyes.

Chris clears his throat gently, and Jared shuts his eyes and looks the other way, sad and embarrassed and wishing this was not his life right now.

“I’m sorry, kid,” Chris’ voice is gentle, reassuring. “You don’t have to put on any faces here. We’re none of us strangers to loss, and yours is fresh. I’ll… wait outside while you finish that, then I’ll be taking you ‘round the ship.”  
  
Chris starts to go for the door but Jared sniffs, wipes his eyes on his sleeve, and stands to follow him.

“No, it’s… I can’t,” Jared looks between Chris and the leftover oatmeal apologetically. Chris appears to understand, nodding back at him. “I’ll come with you now.”  
  
“Alright,” Chris gestures behind him to the plate. “Bring that with you then. We’re off to the galley first. You clean your own dishes, kid.”  
  
Chris gives Jared a tour of the ship, starting with the galley as promised, where he learns how to prepare his own food as required using the ship’s processor, and Chris explains that there are designated meal times during which the crew tends to congregate. It’s a social time as well as an informal briefing setting, should Danneel or Jensen be present to give direction. That said, as long as the system is operational, food is available any time, and Jared may help himself so long as he’s within his rations allotment, which the ship’s computer calculates based on their stores, which Chris maintains.

Chris takes him by the crew’s quarters, which are at the time empty, and it explains why Jared is in the Captain’s room. Only four bunks, though there is room for more.

“Jensen has a mind to get supplies for another bunk when we make next make planetfall. You can get your own clothes and whatever else you might need there as well. Shouldn’t be more than a week, give or take, so don’t be gettin’ too cozy in the Captain’s quarters,” Chris winks again but this time it feels different, teasing but also– there’s a tone in his voice and a look in his eye that makes Jared feel hot all of a sudden. He can only nod wordlessly and look away, fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve and missing the particular smile that appears on Chris’ face as they continue on.  
  
Jared tries not to dwell on whatever it is Chris knows that he doesn’t, so instead he lets his excitement be genuine when he asks about planetfall instead. “We’re going to visit a planet?”  
  
Chris looks over his shoulder at him mid-corridor with a broad grin. “Ne’er set foot on land before, have you?”  
  
Jared shakes his head.

“You’re in for a real treat. Planets aren’t like stations. Got way more colour, to start. The air smells better, too. And fresh food – there’s lots to like. Can be quite the culture shock though, and ports are quite the mix of spacefolk and locals, but we’ll see you through it. I imagine Danneel’ll be wantin’ to show you ‘round, get you kitted out.”  
  
Jared isn’t sure what all that entails, but… _being on a planet_. He never dared dream before. Jared feels a little rush just at the thought.

“Up there’s the bridge,” Chris points at the ladder going above deck as they walk by without stopping. “But I know better’n to take you up there myself. We’ll be leaving that to the Captain. He’ll be wanting to show you that himself.”

There’s a reverence and respect in Chris’ voice that gives Jared pause, lets his mind wander back to Jensen.  
  
“How’d you meet him? The Captain?” Jared dares to ask, hopeful he’s not overstepping somehow.

“Ah, well, as there always seems to be with Jensen, there’s a long version and a short version to that tale,” Chris laughs. “Short version? Jensen and Danneel were looking for crew, Steve and I were looking for a ship… just so happened to be in the right corner of the universe at the right time. We’ve been sailing together ever since, nigh on six years. Now, we might’ve been in a spot of trouble at the time, if you follow. We are pirates, after all, but that’s the long story, which is better saved for an evening off with a side of liquor. Steve!”  
  
Chris hollers as they step into the engine room, a large, glowing turbine spinning at the centre.

“Wha’?” is the reply, and a moment later, Steve pops his head around the far side of the machine. He’s got grease everywhere, and though he wipes his hands on a rag as he approaches, the smudges on his face stay put. “Jared, good to meet ya. I’m Steve, though I guess he’ll have already told ya that.”  
  
He shoots an accusatory glance at Chris, who shrugs.

“If you’re ever tryin’ to get in the shower but it’s occupied, chances are it’s Steve hoggin’ all the water. I don’t suppose I need to explain why,” Chris retorts with a smile, and Steve just rolls his eyes.

“This here’s our engine, Jared. She keeps us afloat, even takes us across galaxies at a decent clip, if I do say,” Steve begins, ignoring Chris in favour of giving Jared the tour. Jared follows him, looking at the machine in awe, even if the loud whirr of it makes him wince a little.

“You get used to it,” Steve adds, having caught Jared’s squinting. As they walk around, Chris stays leaning against the door, and Jared is careful not to trip over the assortment of tools and parts scattered about the deck. “Probably don’t even realize she adds an ambient hum to the whole ship. The place is damned eerie when we’re docked and she’s off.”  
  
Steve seems to shudder at the very thought, and Jared nods absently, instead busy pouring over everything. He’s seen and handled so much of this technology before – parts like these are real prizes for scavengers like Jared’s family – but he’s never had a chance to see them at work before.

“Looks like you could use a new compression coil,” Jared offers as he spies the one currently in place, looking worse for wear. Jared looks up to see Steve watching him with wide eyes, obviously impressed.

“Aye, we do. It’s on the top of the list when we next dock. What would a station kid like yourself know about compression coils and engine parts, I wonder?” Steve eyes him with interest, and Jared is quick to dismiss it.

“Oh, not– not much,” he stammers. “We’re scrappers, my family. Most of the station is, actually. Collect a lot of space junk, mostly. I’m familiar with some parts, yeah, but never seen them at work before.”  
  
“Uh huh,” Steve says, still looking him over thoughtfully and sounding unconvinced. “Well, that’s better ’n nothing, that’s for sure. I can always use a hand down here. You could be useful yet, Padalecki.”  
  
“Oh, I hope to be!” Jared says in a hurry. Jensen has graciously offered him a home with his crew; he wants nothing more than to properly earn his keep. Steve smiles.  
  
“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then!” Chris shouts from the doorway over the drone of the engine. “Jason’ll be by in a bit to collect the kid. In the meantime, be nice, Steve!”  
  
“Pfft, be nice,” Steve makes a face. “He tells _me_ to be nice. It’s him you gotta worry about, Jared.”

He says it deliberately loud enough for Chris to hear, but the only response is him rolling his eyes and leaving. Jared trying to bite back laughter while Steve rants about his friend as he gestures for Jared to come have a closer look at the engine.

Jared might’ve been more apprehensive, but so far no one was giving him enough time to be. Instead, the message was clear: he’s a part of this crew now, and there’s a whole lot of learning to be done. Jared was only too happy for the distraction, and he let Steve have all of his focus as he pointed out the basic components and how to recognize signs of trouble.

 

\---

 

Jensen leans back in his chair and stretches his legs out in front of him, bracing them on the control panel to the left of the helm and hooking them at the ankles. Multi-coloured streaks dance by overhead and he stares into the glittering Black. It should be frightening – it _is_ frightening – but Jensen is still calmed by its vastness. It’s a paradox that he finds eerily comforting; at once endless, dangerous, and containing every chaotic thing in existence, from the smallest particle to the largest gamma-ray bursts, but also, from here, the infinitesimal perspective of his captain’s chair, it’s silent, peaceful, and dazzlingly beautiful. Jensen seeks solace from the turmoil of his thoughts as the ship sails on, their destination plugged into the ship’s computer and moving across galaxies on automatic, trying to leave Pellegrino and all the trouble that comes with him behind despite their newly acquired crewmate.

For all the glory of the stars, Jensen’s mind still wanders to Jared. The kid had been terrified when he woke, battered and bruised not just on the outside, Jensen would wager, naked and vulnerable as the day he’d been born, and it had struck deeply into the heart of him. He had carried the boy to his quarters and dressed him himself, feeling fiercely protective of him even from his crew, whom he trusted implicitly. The feeling was unsettling, and Jensen bristled more easily than he usually would when discussing Jared’s fate. Despite their reservations, as Danni had reassured him – and as he knew better – his crew hadn’t even blinked when Jensen announced Jared would be staying on. It was even going well, so far as Jensen knew. Chris had given him a report earlier with his own observations as well as Steve’s, who apparently was looking to steal away their new recruit to keep in engineering. Jensen is pleased to be assured of Jared’s usefulness – not that he was worried – but he’s also wrestling with all the memories Jared’s circumstances have brought to the surface, not to mention the warm fire that flares up low in his belly whenever he thinks on Jared for more than a moment. It’s been a long time since Jensen felt anything like it – a mighty long time, in fact, years even, and certainly not since before…  

“Permission to come onto the bridge, Captain?”

Danni’s voice startles him – a testament to just how far his mind had wandered.

Jensen tips his head back over his shoulder to peer at her where she waits, holding onto the ladder, just her head and shoulders clearing the deck. He raises an eyebrow at her even though his face is basically upside down. Their ship has a chain of command, sure, but it’s no military vessel and certainly is not so formal, seeing as Jensen is half sprawled across a navigation console. Jensen would say as much but he has before countless times and Danneel remains the same. She always was a faithful first officer, and Jensen knows old habits die hard – especially the ones that serve you well.

“Aye, step aboard, ma'am,” he teases, giving a sloppy, upside down salute as he answers, just to let her know how silly he thinks it is that she still asks. Proper though she may be on occasion, she doesn’t shy away from rolling her eyes at him as she climbs the rest of the way up the ladder.

“You’re brooding an awful lot, considering,” she says cheerfully as she sits on the edge of the computer, nudging his feet with her hip. Jensen snorts.

“Considering? Here I was thinking I wasn’t brooding enough,” Jensen nudges her right back, giving her a knowing look. She answers it in kind, and Jensen knows she hasn’t forgotten all the things he has to brood about, but it’s clear she’s taking the optimist’s path for once. He’s not sure that doesn’t make him more worried.

“Well…” he flounders for something to say as retort. “You’re strangely _happy_ , considering.”  
  
He says it like it’s insulting and she makes a face that just confirms how pathetic he’s being.

“In all seriousness, Danni. It’s making me bleedin’ nervous. You’re the overcautious nay-sayer on this ship. The kid comes with all manner of trouble, not to mention how– you know,” he waves his hand in a vague gesture alluding to his past, not interested in putting any part of it into words, as usual. “What’s with the merry makin’?”

“I think he’s going to be good for you,” Danni answers without hesitation. Jensen would spit, had he been drinking. “‘Bout time something helped dispel those dark clouds that’ve been following you so long. I saw how you looked at him, Ackles. We all did.”  
  
Her grin turns into something suggestive and Jensen curses his transparency while grumbling audibly, tightening the cross of his arms on his chest and looking away from her to hide the heat in his cheeks.

“‘Cause that’s not a terrible idea eight ways from the Horse’s Head,” he mutters angrily. After a moment of quiet, Jensen chances a look back at her only to be met with an expression that says she’s not buying it. He throws his hands up in exasperation and sits up properly, leaning forward to look at her seriously.

“How ‘bout we worry about getting him settled and out of my quarters before entertaining any of these disastrously messy notions of yours?”

Danneel puts her hands up, palms out in defeat, but her grin doesn’t falter as she shifts the conversation. “You heard Steve say he’ll be mighty handy in engineering?”  
  
Jensen narrows his eyes at her even as he relaxes back into his chair. “Aye, Chris told me.”

“He’s a crack shot, too. A Black-blessed natural,” she adds, and Jensen tries not to look too intrigued.

“That so?” he presses nonchalantly, though this news is new to him.

“Aye, spent some time with Jason gettin’ friendly with the guns. He’s a quick learner, t’would seem. Took right to the plasma pistol, though Jason says he claims to never fired a shot before.”

Jensen is exceptionally pleased to know Jared really is fitting in and the crew seems to quickly be taking a liking to him – it’s just not exactly helping with the way _Jensen_ is taking a liking to him. He hums approvingly and looks past Danneel into space where it’s twisting and twirling around their bow. When he says nothing more, Danneel finally appears to relent, sighing and shifting her gaze starward. They sit in familiar, companionable silence for long moments, Jensen thinking of Jared still all the while, so when Danneel finally speaks again, the time has hardly seemed to have passed.

“You know he’s never set foot on a planet before?” she asks quietly, as if to mask her excitement, but Jensen knows her too well. He does give her a genuine smile now.

“Aye, I heard that, too. He’s all yours when we dock. Show him around, kit him out, and for the sake of the stars, Danni, keep him safe.”

Danneel’s face softens at the earnest tone in Jensen’s voice, the one he can’t help, the one that betrays exactly how fond he is of Jared already. She leans forward to touch a hand to his knee, holding his gaze. “You know I will, Captain.”

 

\---

 

“Go on, Jay,” Jason encourages him when Jared stares at the ladder for an extra second. Jason says Jensen is expecting him on the bridge, and Jared has been trying not to think of the captain while the crew has shown him around but now that he’s faced with seeing him again, he feels nervous, his stomach fluttering.

“The Captain can be gruff and sometimes testy, but don’t let that scare you,” Jason continues, seeing Jared’s hesitation but misinterpreting it entirely. “After all, he’s the one that wants you here. T’was his idea you stay, is what I mean.”  
  
Jason’s words work the opposite way he intends them to, and Jared grips the rung of the ladder more tightly in order to steady himself.

“Anyway, we saved the best for last, ‘specially if you’ve never been off Station before. Up you go!”  
  
Jared finally nods and climbs the ladder, willing his stomach to settle.

The light on the bridge is ambient, shifting sometimes brighter and sometimes more softly, occasionally multi-coloured as they pass by various celestial bodies while at warp, and the sight is so breathtaking that Jared’s nerves are forgotten in its wake. He steps onto the bridge as if in a daze, looking all around the fluid landscape. Jared’s little corner of the universe looks nothing like this, just an endless canvas of black littered with glittering stars that always stay the same. It’s more magnificent than anything he could have even dreamed of.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” The rumble of Jensen’s voice is soft as if he’s in awe just like Jared is, but Jared still startles at the sound, almost having forgotten for just a moment that he wasn’t alone.

“S-sorry,” Jared stutters and spins towards the sound. Jensen is leaning casually against the starboard side, elbows resting on the top of the railing. Awash in the starlight, he’s quite the sight himself, and Jared’s nerves return in force. “I got– it’s just so… I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“It’s alright. Come take a better look,” Jensen gestures for Jared to join him at the railing, and Jared narrowly avoids tripping over his own feet to make it the short distance across the deck. If Jensen notes Jared’s gracelessness, he doesn’t let on, instead turning to face outward alongside him. “I’ve been sailing for years, but I never tire of seeing it.”

Jared is still too awestruck to say much, but Jensen doesn’t seem to mind, content to let Jared stare into the abyss until he finds his composure again.

“I understand now why they say once you take to the stars, the stars will take and keep you,” Jared finally admits, turning to Jensen, whose expression is knowing.

“Aye, they do,” he agrees, at once serious. “It’s a lot though. Some folks can’t take it. Get scared, return to ground and stay. Others go mad. The Black is mysterious and dangerous as it is beautiful and vast. If you’re going to venture out, the only way to do it is with a good crew – a crew you trust – and on a good ship – a faithful one – one you can make your home.”

“Like the _Jaybird_ and her crew?” Jared points out, because it feels like the right thing to do.

“Exactly like that,” Jensen answers, and carries on. “Space on ship is limited and the journeys can be long. Every piece of cargo is deliberate, every person worth their weight. All my crew bring something unique to the the _Jaybird_ , but they’re each of them also sailors first. Everyone needs to be able to follow basic instruction, respect the chain of command, be familiar with the ship’s main systems. Not sure what specifically you’re going to bring us yet, but the others tell me you’re capable with a weapon and handy with mechanical parts. You seem to be fitting in just fine, Jared.”

Jared feels his cheeks get warm, more delighted than he should be that Jensen is hearing good things about him, and he’s glad for the relative darkness on the bridge, hoping Jensen doesn’t see.

“Only a few days more until we reach our destination – a planet outside Pellegrino’s territory – and then you’ll be properly settled aboard. In the meantime, you can make yourself at home in my cabin and continue working with the crew to get comfortable with the ship. Anything else you need we can get on planet,” Jensen continues, smiling.

Jared feels warm in Jensen’s presence, jittery but it in a welcome way. He can’t help but smile back at him, and the gratitude he feels is nearly overwhelming, but he has to try to convey it – to make sure Jensen knows, and to promise him he’ll bring something to the _Jaybird_ , too.

“Thank you, sir,” Jared says as genuinely as he can. He looks right at Jensen and in that moment realizes how close together they’re standing, how his own voice feels loud in the otherwise quiet on the bridge. His stomach flutters anew for the way Jensen is looking back at him, but he makes himself continue. “For everything. For giving me a chance to prove myself. I could be dead now or worse, and I know you didn’t mean to save me, but you did, and I don’t want you to ever regret it. I owe you everything, Captain.”

There’s a lump in Jared’s throat as he says it, his family and the only home he ever knew light years away despite their place still so close in Jared’s heart. It’s still so fresh a wound, and it hurts to think anything besides Auston Station could ever be home, that anyone besides his parents and siblings could be his family, but it’s what Jensen is offering – a place on his ship – even though Jared has done nothing to earn it.  

Jensen’s expression is tight as he leans back, clearing his throat. Whatever Jared thought might have been between them at that moment– but it’s gone now and Jensen’s face is unreadable. He claps a hand on Jared’s shoulder but it seems to also push him away.

“You’re welcome, of course, Jared,” Jensen says, somewhat stilted. “I– you best be getting some rest. It’s been a long day and– you’re dismissed.”  
  
He nods curtly and turns away from Jared, moving to stand at the helm. Jared blinks at the sudden shift in the tone between them, his stomach sinking and turning unpleasantly. Jensen’s posture clearly tells him their conversation is done, and Jared doesn’t know what to say now anyway. He silently makes his exit, going down the ladder with shaking hands, and the horrible feeling that he’s done something wrong. He’s grateful not to bump into anyone on the way to his – _Jensen’s_ – quarters, and he quickly climbs into the bed, hiding under the blankets. He tries not to think at all, not of his family and everything he’s lost, not of how kind the crew has been to him today, not of Jensen and how badly he wants to make him happy, how good it feels to be close to him, or how sick he feels now to wonder if he’s upset him somehow, but the thoughts persist. It’s a long time before he succumbs to sleep, and when he finally does, it’s with wet eyes and an aching heart.

 

\---

 

The ship is a smaller class vessel, and yet Jared sees little of Jensen over the next few days. He’s almost always with another member of the crew, and just the one time he was invited back onto the bridge for a lesson in navigation from Jensen. Danneel was there as well, and Jared couldn’t help but feel as though Jensen was deliberately keeping his distance. The lesson itself was fascinating but between the view of the stars and the _Jaybird’s_ captain, Jared had a hard time staying entirely focused.

When he’s working with other crew members, Jared doesn’t seem to have the same problem. It’s a lot to take in, everything they’re throwing at him, but he’s eager to learn it all, both to prove himself to them and to help him not think on what he’s left behind. Luckily or unluckily, it’s more Jensen that Jared has a hard time _not_ thinking about. Even without spending much time with him, Jared can’t seem to force him from his mind, especially at night when he retreats to his borrowed quarters. The clothes he wears are Jensen’s and the bed he lays in even smells faintly of the captain still, days later.

Jensen’s crew also talk of him fondly, in between what Jared has come to understand is good-natured joking. When they all gather in the galley to eat, the crew likes to talk, and Jared’s presence has encouraged all manner of storytelling – how they all met, the wildest jobs they’ve ever pulled, craziest shit they’ve ever seen. It’s clear that Jensen put this ragtag family together, and each of the crew feels grateful to have encountered him, despite his penchant for being a bit of a hardass while in the air.

“His fierce judgment has saved our skins more’n once,” Jason chimes in defensively during one such storytelling session, just as the laughter dies down.

“That is the truth,” Steve agrees, nodding before taking a big swig of his beer.

“Hey!” Danneel shouts, playing up offended with a dramatic expression as she leans forward to cuff Steve on the shoulder. He splutters into his drink but manages not to spill any. “I’m the one that keeps that foolhardy idiot grounded more days than not. _I’ve_ saved _his_ sorry skin more’n once.”  
  
She leans back, folding her arms across her chest and looking proud.

“Aye, that’s the truth, too,” Chris says warmly, looking at her appreciatively.

“Do you mean before? Back when–” Jared ventures to ask, usually more of a listener than an asker during mealtimes. The crew fall silent to listen, and Danneel’s eyebrows raise a little in question. “You served together. In the military, right? I saw– Jensen keeps a picture. In his desk.”  
  
Jared blushes and the last words trail off in a mumble, embarrassed as he realized part way through asking that he just outed himself for having gone through Jensen’s things. He’s briefly mortified and afraid he’s pried, but the crew only grin at him.

“Aye, we did,” Danneel admits easily. “And aye, that’d be when. Though I’ve certainly saved his skin once or twice since we took up a life of piracy, too.”

She winks at him and the crew chuckles as though they’re thinking of a time or two in particular, Danneel seems to see on Jared’s face that he wanted to hear more so she obliges, continuing.

“We were both runners, see,” she explains. “Me and Jensen. We ran away from our lives and into the military. My escape was a long time comin’, calculated and precise. Jensen’s was a spur of the moment, an opportunity seized at great risk. What he was runnin’ from, well… but that’s his story. He doesn’t talk too much about it, Jared. He’s got a lot of unhappy memories, you could say. Anyway, that about sums us up, me and the captain. He can be brash, but thus far it’s usually worked out for him. For the times it doesn’t, he’s mighty grateful to have been stuck with me so long.”  
  
She winks again, grinning, recovering the lighter tone of the conversation after that brief mention of the captain’s past. Jared is beyond curious of the man in the uniform and what lead him to it, but he knows when a topic’s done, knows better than to keep asking.

“Aye, and we’re grateful, too, elsewise we wouldn’t have the captain nor the _Jaybird_ to call home!” Steve holds up his beer and the crew are all too happy to raise their glasses, too. They clink them together amid a chorus of _here, here!_ and Jared is humbled and happy to be a part of this group, even as an awkward newcomer they didn’t ask for.

“Where is the handsome devil anyway?” Jason asks, looking around despite being well aware that Jensen isn’t here. “I feel like he hasn’t been down here to eat with us in ages. He finally decide he’s too good to slum it with us?”  
  
He laughs, only teasing, as he sips his beer, but Danneel gives him a pointed, stern glare while Chris and Steve exchange looks.

“What?” Jason bristles when he sees the way Danneel looks at him, shrugging his shoulders and rolling his eyes.

Jared deflates as they talk and no one answers Jason. He doesn’t know what he did, especially not after Jensen’s warm welcome, but he’s almost certain he’s the reason Jensen hasn’t been dining with the crew. It makes his stomach turn and he feels almost sick, wondering what he could’ve done, and at a loss for how to spend more time with the one person he’s beginning to think he could never get enough of.

While he retreated to his thoughts, he must’ve missed some silent communication between the crew, because they all start to leave.

“Well, it’s been a long day, and we’ve got lots to do tomorrow in preparation for disembarkation. Best turn in, early mornin’ and all,” Chris says as he stands, nudging Steve and gesturing at the remains of his beer.

“Oh, uh, yeah, exactly,” Steve catches on, chugging the rest of his beer, then standing with a burp.

“Sleep well, Jared,” Jason chuckles. “Last nights in a single bed. Soon you’ll be bunking with us so better enjoy it!”

He pats Jared on the shoulder as he leaves, and then it’s just Jared and Danneel. He gets the distinct feeling that was intended. He looks at her desolately.

“It’s me, isn’t it? I think I’ve offended him somehow, Danneel,” he starts, but the emotion is too much and he can’t stop there, desperate to take whatever it was back, anything to make Jensen happy. “I don’t know what happened, he was so warm and then– now he’s– the _last_ thing I would ever want is to upset him and– and–”  
  
“Jared, hey,” she says softly, cutting him off with a hand on his shoulder. “Jensen…” she sighs and looks thoughtful. “He’s got a lot of baggage, you know what I’m saying? He’s not always an easy man, and stuff tends to weigh on him like it don’t with other folk. What I mean to say is, it’s not you. Whatever’s got him wound up, don’t you fret about it, okay? He’ll come ‘round. I promise.”

She looks at him so earnestly that even though the sinking feeling hasn’t completely eased up, Jared does find himself nodding and feeling a little lighter.  
  
“Now, Chris is right. Lots to do tomorrow. Best be off to bed now. Sleep well, Jared,” Danneel has this way about her when she smiles that Jared does feel at ease. He even musters up a small smile to give back to her.

“Thanks, Danneel. G’night.”  
  


\---

 

Jensen slows as he approaches the galley, listening. It’s quiet enough and he continues around the corner hoping it’s as vacant as it sounds.

“Captain,” Danneel says curtly as he steps inside, and he almost startles, but catches himself at the last moment. He clears his throat and she raises her eyebrows at him from over her mug of coffee in a way that suggests she may have been laying in wait for him all along. He sighs and tries to ignore it.

“Good morning, Danni,” he responds tiredly, hoping perchance his tone is enough to deter her.

“You’ve been avoiding him,” she says point blank, skipping any pleasantries and crowding behind him as he punches his request into the ship’s synthesizer. He tenses at her accusation because he can’t deny it, and when the machine beeps to tell him they’re out of coffee he does growl under his breath. Thank the stars they’re docking this afternoon and can resupply. He turns around in the little space she’s afforded him and snatches her coffee from her hands. She puts nasty sugar in it but desperate times and all that.  
  
“Jensen!” Danneel exclaims, surprised, her eyes wide as she turns to follow him in his hasty retreat.  

He almost makes it, too, but she rounds on him in the doorway and backs him up against the partition with a finger pressed sharply into his chest.

“You don’t deny it then? You are avoiding him?” She glares, her voice low in case any of the crew should approach.

Jensen sighs and rolls his eyes, pointedly looking away from her. “You know that’s not entirely true. We’ve been on the bridge together while I instruct him on rudimentary navigation.”  
  
“Yes, only while I’ve conveniently been present, too, and nothing else besides. You haven’t dined with the crew since we picked him up, and you’ve kept your distance. Obviously. Even the kid knows something is off. For a man unable to inhabit his own quarters, you’ve been incredibly scarce this past week.”

Jensen obstinately looks at the wall past Danneel’s head, saying nothing. She’s not wrong, but he’s not about to explain himself. He feels too strongly for Jared to bear him at the moment, praying time will help him school his want.  

 _I owe you everything, Captain_. Jared’s voice echoes beautifully in his memory, a painful confirmation of everything he feared, that he can never– not if Jared feels so indebted to him. That can’t be why. Jensen would die before he ever let someone give themselves out of obligation. Danneel knows enough. She should understand, but in the wake of Jensen’s silence he can only feel her anger intensify.

“Jensen Ackles, I’ve stood by you many years and through worse than threats from scum of the skies like Pellegrino. I’ve never known you to be such a coward.”

With that she steps back and turns away, apparently having said her piece. Jensen’s temper flares hotly and he calls after her.

“Don’t you _dare_ ,” he hisses, and she stops to listen, though she doesn’t turn around. “When I offered him a place on this ship, I offered him a home. Freedom. And protection.” _From even myself_. “I need no judgement from you.”  
  
She does turn to face him then, and her expression is soft, sad, and pitying – it makes Jensen want to hit something. “Jensen, I know what you’re up against. But you’ve got this all wrong. Just– think about it. About him. _Talk_ to him.”

Jensen doesn’t answer, indignant, and after a moment Danneel does leave him. Thinking himself alone, Jensen deflates. He turns to go back into the galley for _something_ to eat, when Sadie flits in front of him, trilling noisily and in such a manner to suggest she’s angry with him, too, getting right up in his face.

“Stars almighty, Sadie!” Jensen curses, irritated. She backs off – out of Jensen’s reach – but continues her screeching. Jensen narrows his eyes at her. “If you like him so much then quit pestering me, you obnoxious flying furball!”  
  
After a final, decisive squeak, she appears to vanish, too fast now for him to see, and Jensen can only assume she’s left him, too. He sighs, weary, and takes a big gulp of his pilfered coffee, scowling at the sweetness of it as well as his interaction with Danneel. It’s not as simple as she makes it out to be. He’s angry with her for making it seem that way, but there’s also a part of him that’s mad because he’s afraid she’s right about him, too – that he is a coward.

He knows the crew – Danneel especially – is excited to take Jared onto the planet, and inevitably that will lead them to a bar for some long overdue R&R. Jensen has more than enough to do planetside he could avoid that, too, but he resolves to join them. He tells himself it’s mostly to prove Danneel wrong, but he knows better.

 

\---

 

Jared has been antsy and excited all day. It’s not like the prospect of visiting a planet for the first time wasn’t exciting, but even the crew of the _Jaybird_ seem excited. Jared knows planetfall means replenished supplies, trading goods and getting paid – maybe even getting a job. Dropping out of warp to sailing speeds is quite the change of pace, and going through the planet’s atmosphere is another experience entirely. Jared is on the bridge all the while, quietly standing to the side and watching in awe as Jensen takes them in, with Danneel commanding the crew, and everyone doing their part, manning the sails and securing the rigging. It’s a dance to which they all know the steps, and Jared is excited to join in. When they pull alongside and weigh anchor, Jared stands awestruck looking at a place like no other he’s ever seen, only in pictures.

The sky is blue and, lit by the system’s twin suns, bright and starless. Jared has never not known the endless dark of night. It’s a bustling, busy port just past the docks – not too different from home – but at a quick glance Jared can see there’s such a variety of aliens moving about – some he’s never seen. He must look as overwhelmed as he feels because Danneel steps up beside him, so excited he can practically feel her nearly bouncing with the energy.

“You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy,” she says gleefully, and Jared turns to look at her.

“You say that like it’s a good thing!” He laughs, because she’s so clearly delighted it makes it impossible for Jared not to.

“It is!” She wraps an arm around his shoulders. “Pirates, remember?”

She jostles him a little then winks as she pulls away. She looks at him thoughtfully a moment. “Here, just let me…”

She leans in to straighten his belt, and starts tucking his shirt in more. She pauses to look at him again, hums, then starts in with brushing his hair to the side and smoothing it out. Jared feels himself blush.

“It’s pretty casual out there in the Black, but then again, no one really sees us. Out there?” she gestures to the city before them. “It’s worth being a bit put together. You’re stuck with Jensen’s hand me downs for the moment but not to worry. I’ll fix you up once we disembark. Just wait here, since the captain’s gone to get done up himself. I’m going to go change and once we’re all set, we’ll head off together. Won’t be long!”

She disappears down the ladder and Jared was so busy looking at the city he didn’t notice the rest of the crew had already left to presumably ready themselves. Alone on the deck, Jared leans on the railing to keep watching the port. It’s so much like home but also so incredibly different. The air _does_ smell different. Is this _earthy_? he wonders. It’s not like being on a station with artificial gravity and recycled oxygen. Jared _feels_ different, just standing there. 

There’s a soft nudge at his shoulder followed by a chirp, and Jared turns to see Sadie hovering beside him, her bat-like wings flapping quick and blurry at her sides.

“It’s… amazing, Sadie,” he says honestly. She trills like she knows, and brushes up against him amicably. He smiles and reaches for her. She stays where she is, seemingly happy to let him pet her. She never says anything – Jared isn’t sure if she even can? He doesn’t know much about her kind – but he feels like he understands her somehow nonetheless. She always seems to appear when he’s alone, and her presence has been surprisingly comforting.

“Well, it would seem we’re ready, Jared, if you care to join us!” Danneel pokes her head up the ladder. “Gangway’s on the lower deck. Gotta move the merch, you know.”  
  
Jared hurries to follow, making his way down the ladder and to the hold where the door is open and a ramp connects the ship to the dock. Jared blinks when he takes in the sight of the crew.

He’s never felt self-conscious among them before, not in this manner, anyway, but looking at them now, Danneel wasn’t kidding when she said they like to put themselves together to go off ship.

Everyone looks so clean and fresh. Danneel’s wearing tight black pants and tall boots, a loose, white blouse and a long, purple coat. Her hair is piled loosely on her head and she wears a colourful silk scarf like a headband. She’s got makeup on, which he’s never seen her wear on ship, her eyes bright and beautifully lined, and a rich plum colour on her lips. She looks absolutely enchanting.

Jensen is with the crew, too, going over what looks like invoices with Jason, who stands behind the hoverform loaded with all the goods they have to sell. Jensen is wearing the same kind of thing he always does, but it’s clear he’s wearing a clean shirt, he’s polished the scuffs off his boots, and he’s styled his usually soft, ruffled-looking hair. And– he shaved. Jared swallows hard when Jensen turns and Jared can see his baby-smooth face. He looks so much younger without the scruff, so much more like the uniformed man from the picture. He’s beautiful anyway, but seeing him in this new way– Jared’s stomach is all aflutter. 

“Alright, you all know your tasks. Jason and I’ll come find you when the crates are gone and our pockets are lined,” Jensen says, and then tossing a look at Jared over his shoulder, “you’re with Danneel. She has the comm, and you can always come back to the ship if you get stranded. Sadie’ll let you in. That said, don’t go gettin’ stranded, yeah?”

Danneel stands close to him, a hand on his arm, and he nods back at Jensen eagerly.

“I won’t, Captain.”  
  
“Aye, I won’t let him wander far,” Danneel adds. “We’ve got too much to do!” 

Jensen looks as though he might roll his eyes at his excited first mate, but instead he smiles at them, then nods at Jason and they lead the party off the ship.

Jared doesn’t exactly know what it is that he and Danneel have to do, but she’s got two plasma pistols on her hip and Jared has seen her use them in target practice – he feels perfectly safe as he walks off the ship in step with her.

 

\---

 

Turns out that while Chris and Steve were tasked with getting the necessary equipment to build Jared’s bunk, Danneel was set on getting Jared his own clothes and personal effects, since he came to them with quite literally nothing but the skin on his bones. Jared has never really been shopping before, wearing his father’s hand me downs mostly, not having enough money to ever buy new things. Jared almost asks where the money is coming from, but he has a suspicion that he already knows, and his heart isn’t up to hearing Danneel confirm it. He follows her lead entirely, out of his element in every way, and lets her dress him and get his hair looked after – something only his mother had ever done for him previously.

Jared feels anxious when they leave the last shop, never in his life before clothed in new things, things that only belonged to him, and nothing like this.

“Jared, relax,” Danneel reassures him quietly as the door closes behind them. “You look _amazing_ , trust me.”  
  
Jared flushes and nods, trying to find his confidence. “T-thanks. I just– I’ve never– I feel so… _different_.”  
  
Jared resists the urge to tug at the shirt he’s wearing. It’s a light, nearly translucent material, and it billows a little where Danneel tucked it into pants almost as tight as hers. She also bought him pants for aboard ship, but insisted port was not the place to wear them. He feels exposed dressed as he is, but he sees people around them looking at him and he knows Danneel must be right. He runs a hand through his hair nervously and follows her closely.

“It is different, Jared. _You’re_ different. You’re a long way from home, station boy,” she teases.

Jared does smile at that, sad though it is, too, and he’s glad that going on planet for the first time, he has Danneel with him. They walk back towards the docks, but stop short.

“This would be our favourite local watering hole,” she points out a rough-looking establishment with an abundance of folk hanging around it. “Jason and the captain’ll be meeting us here. In the meantime, we can get a head start celebrating your first time planetside!”  
  
She navigates her way through the throng of people and aliens clogging the streets, making a path for them all the way to the doors. She ushers Jared inside and immediately spots Steve and Chris in a booth off to the right. She grabs Jared’s arm and tugs him their way, playfully shoving him in front of her as they see them coming and wave.

“Well?” She demands, grinning and twirling a finger to suggest Jared turn around, which he does as much to hide his growing blush as to appease her. “What do you think?”

 

\---

 

Jensen is mighty pleased. They had no trouble finding buyers and they collected more credits than Jensen had estimated, albeit conservatively, for their cargo. They’d be set for long enough they could enjoy a couple days in port and afford to be choosey with their next job. When they got back to the ship to ditch the hoverform and secure their credits, Jason asked if Jensen would be joining them for a drink and it hit Jensen full force – he really had been distant these last few days, if it had come to that, and that isn’t right. Jason had clapped a happy hand on his back when Jensen had said he would of course be joining him, and they didn’t waste another minute before setting out to meet the others.

Setting foot in the familiar bar, Jensen is looking forward to some excellent libations and catching up with his friends. He can somehow pinpoint the particular sounds of his rabble over the din of everyone else, which puts a smile on his face as he and Jason move toward their voices. There’s much hooting and hollering, and as Jensen looks up, he realizes why in an instant, stopping where he stands to stare.

There’s a band playing, music competing with the loud, drunken voices of the bar’s patrons, and beside their table Jared is dancing. Danneel has one of his hands and Jensen is sure she instigated this, but Steve and Chris egg them on from their chairs, beers in front of them. People at other tables are watching, some more intensely than others, and some are dancing very closely, not that Jensen can blame them.

Danneel is his best friend – Jensen knows exactly what she’s capable of and the attention she so easily commands. Jared, however… he looks to be a different creature entirely than the long-limbed, beaten-down young thing hiding in Jensen’s old clothes. Danneel is certainly to blame for this, too, but Jared is wearing pants that are almost obscenely tight, emphasizing his never ending legs, the curve of his ass, and cut of his hips. His shirt is nearly see-through and his lean figure is on display as he moves in time to the music, tentative, following Danneel’s lead. His hair has been cut just a little and styled, looking soft and tempting from even where Jensen stands, transfixed, and he’s wearing a little make up – lashes dark, something smokey and sparkly smudged around his eyes, his lips glistening like he’s been biting them. He’s smiling, uninhibited, those dimples out in full force, and he looks so happy and beautiful it takes Jensen’s breath away.

Jensen is suddenly, painfully aware of how fiercely strong his want is for Jared. He swallows hard and takes a breath, steels himself to move to join their table, but at that exact moment, one of the men who’s been dancing nearby steps in even closer, a hand slipping onto Jared’s hip. Jared turns to see him, Danneel still on his other side, and his cheeks are flushed. The stranger smiles at him and Jared smiles back before looking away, almost bashful, and as the man presses up against him, Jensen feels the heat in his belly transform into something else, something hotter, uglier, and dangerous. His blood boils and his heart is screaming at him. He’s a goddamn idiot, is what he is. The kid’s first time planetside, all done up – he’s got better things to do than be the object of Jensen’s clumsy attention, not when there’s all manner of adventure to be had. The jealousy he feels rivals his want, and he has no right to it. He’s furious that he feels it at all, and furious to know he can’t stomach seeing Jared like this, so perfectly beautiful and rightfully out of reach. He turns on his heel and leaves, the sound of Jason calling after him fading as he reaches the door.

 

\---

 

Jared has never known what it is to be the recipient of such attention. Auston Station is a space junkyard, for all intents and purposes, and humans make up only a small portion of the population, much of which is transient. Those who stay are too poor to leave, generally, and Jared’s family is no exception. Between that and Pellegrino’s frequent visits, attention is the last thing that Jared ever wanted.

The clothing and makeup he wears now make him feel exposed and self-conscious at first, so many eyes on him as they made their way to the bar, but then they meet with Steve and Chris to wild approval that makes Jared blush red hot all the way to the tips of his ears. The other members of the _Jaybird_ ’s crew exchange knowing glances while Jared stands there feeling elated; they don’t say anything but something in Jared’s heart leaps – he can’t help hoping that it’s something to do with Jensen. People have been watching him since the moment they left the salon but the only person whose eyes he wishes on him are the captain’s.

They have drinks. It’s not the first time Jared’s had ale but what little is available back home is either garbage or expensive, and both are hard come by. Here it’s homegrown – it tastes little like Jared has had before. It’s fresh and crisp and goes right to his head as it lightens his limbs and warms his belly. When the music gets loud and Danneel catches him tapping his foot in time, she doesn’t take no for an answer as she grabs his hand and pulls him to stand with her. Jared stumbles and feels shy despite the looseness the alcohol gives him.

“I don’t really– haven’t much–” he tries to awkwardly explain as Danneel leans in to hear him.  She just smiles.

“Nonsense. Dance with me, Jay,” she practically sings and, still with his hand in hers, starts to dance. Jared flounders a moment before trying to follow along, just mimicking what she does and trying to get lost in the music.

He doesn’t even realize he’s had his eyes closed a while until he opens them and Danneel is beaming at him. Steve and Chris are leaning forward over the table, whistling, and there are other people dancing around them, too. It makes him feel less on display, despite the way he still catches people watching, and it helps him relax. He gives in to how good it feels to move, how it takes him away from the loss he doesn’t know how to escape, and just dances.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been at it – still holding Danneel’s hand – when he startles, a hand that’s _not_ Danneel’s resting on his hip. He turns to see its owner, a man a little shorter than he is, maybe in his forties, not entirely unattractive but starting to tighten his grip and move closer still. Jared flashes a quick, nervous smile and tries to duck away, towards Danneel and their table. He squeezes her hand and she looks past him at the man pressing uncomfortably close behind him. At once Jared knows she understands because she dances in between them, giving the stranger a clear signal to back off. Thankfully, Danneel knows how to look scary when she wants to, because the guy seems to give up, and Jared breathes a sigh of relief. Just as Danneel steps in front of him again, Jared hears Jason yelling. 

“ _Jensen, wait– Jen!”_

Jared spies him quickly, tall as he is, and he sees Jensen, too. The captain’s back is to them as he walks away with speed and purpose, the set of his shoulders tight and angry. Jared’s stomach plummets and he stops abruptly, watching the captain disappear through the door. Jason turns to face the crew looking stunned. Beside him Danneel has stopped, too, and Jason shrugs at her, palms up in a gesture of disbelief as he makes his way towards them.

“What the bleedin’ hell was that all about?” Chris barks from behind them, standing now to make sure Jason can hear him.

“I’ve no idea,” Jason remarks, shaking his head.

In the moment that follows, Jared deflates completely.

“I think it’s me. The Captain– I think he doesn’t– but I don’t know what I did…” he says it looking at his feet, quietly, just to himself really, since the music is still loud, but Danneel squeezes his arm gently as if she heard. He feels a little queasy all of a sudden, and all the things that make it hard to sleep at night for the aches in his heart feel too real again. He clears his throat in an attempt to keep himself together, and leans into Danneel. “Please, can you take me to the ship? I’m sorry, I… I just…”

He feels his eyes burn and wishes to the farthest stars that he were anywhere but here as his words fail him, but Danneel just slips her hand into his. He can feel it when she nods, and though he doesn’t hear her speak, she must communicate with the rest of the crew somehow because no one asks questions or follows as they walk away and she leads him back.

 

\---

 

The last thing Jared wants to do when he gets aboard the _Jaybird_ again is retreat to Jensen’s quarters, but Danneel takes him to the crew quarters instead. It appears that while Danneel was dressing him up, Chris and Steve installed his bunk. It should be a good moment – Jared gaining his official place on the ship – but the Captain is upset, and Jared’s heart is too broken. Danneel shows him to his place, all of the purchases he made in town today already put away in his barrack box, clean blankets laid out and ready to be turned down. She gives him a small, hopeful smile, but even Jared can tell she knows it won’t do the trick. Jared sighs, shaky, and sits on the edge of his bed. He doesn’t want to cry in front of her, humiliated on top of everything else, so he puts his head in his hands, hoping she’ll just leave him.

Instead, he feels the bed dip as she sits next to him. Then she waits.

“It is me, isn’t it?” he finally whispers. She sighs.

“It’s really not. I mean, it is, but not how you think,” she sounds exasperated, and Jared chances to look up at her.

“You have to understand, Jensen… he’s– well, he’s got a lot of baggage, okay? He _likes_ you, Jared,” she insists, and reaches to tightly hold his hand when he scoffs at her. “I know him better’n most. No lies.”  
  
“But–” Jared flusters. “He’s avoiding me, I know it. And all of you besides, if you’re with me. And then– just now–”  
  
“Listen to me,” Danneel interrupts before he can get carried away. “ _He’s jealous_. I don’t need to ask him to know it. Seeing you looking like this–” she gestures at him from top to bottom “–and seeing everyone else see it, too.  He’s jealous, and mad at himself. He keeps telling himself he’s got no claim to it, no right to feel that way. He’s mighty conflicted..”  
  
Jared can only blink at her. “I don’t understand? If I– I’m so obvious, and he likes me, as you say–”  
  
Danneel cuts him off again. “He’s got all these hang ups. From before – what he’s been through. It’s not my business to tell, but he doesn’t want you to ever feel like he did, leastways not at his hands. He can’t see past thinking you might feel like you owe it to him, ‘stead of wanting him proper, you follow? Jared, if you do – what him proper, I mean – you’re gonna have to fight for him.”

She hold his hands and his gaze while Jared tries to process everything she says. His heart pounds madly in his chest and he tries to keep his breathing steady, though it feels like that’s getting away from him, too.

“Danni,” he finally says, squaring his shoulders and wishing he were braver. “What do I do?”

  
  
\---

 

The knock on Jensen’s door is expected. If anything, he’s surprised it took her this long.

He’s been laying on his bed for the first time since they opened that cursed crate and found Jared inside it, staring at the wall and trying desperately to think of _anything_ else, despite the fact Jared lingers in the scent that still clings to Jensen’s pillow.

He ignores her, just in case miracles do happen and she opts to leave him alone instead of further ripping him apart, but as anticipated there follows another knock, however more quietly this time. He contemplates laying there still, seeing how angry he can make her by leaving her out there, but then–

“ _Captain? It– it’s me. Uh, Jared…”_ his voice is muffled through the heavy steel door but it’s decidedly _not_ Danneel’s.

Jensen sits up immediately and curses Danneel in the same moment, muttering under his breath as he tries not to panic. She _would_ put Jared up to this, the meddlesome pest that she is. Jensen sighs as he reaches for the door, begging his heart to still and willing away his frustration at Danneel for the time being.

Resigned, he pulls the door open, and he tries not to swallow his tongue. Jared hasn’t changed, still in the nearly criminal outfit from the bar, the makeup on his face glittering in the lamplight from Jensen’s room, making his eyes all the brighter. He’s so beautiful but his expression wavers. He puts on a smile that doesn’t stick, and Jensen can see how clearly wretched he is. Jensen aches.

“Jared,” Jensen clears his throat and tries not to let his eyes wander. “Is– your bunk– I had the crew make it up. My quarters are once again my own.”  
  
Jared stares back at him and the weak attempt at a smile vanishes entirely, but he doesn’t retreat. Instead, Jared takes a step forward, across the threshold, and Jensen has to step back to keep his distance.

“I know, Captain, but…” he sighs, and bites his lip. “Can we talk, please?”  
  
Jensen wants to say no. He wants to tell Jared to leave so he can track down Danneel and give her proper hell. But Jared looks at him with such big, pleading eyes, that Jensen can barely find any words at all, much less the ones to dismiss him. Instead, he gestures to the bed without looking away from Jared, completely caught by him.

Jared sits, and Jensen does the same on the edge of his desk, folding his arms across his chest, much like the first occasion in which they spoke. There’s a long moment wherein Jared appears to be collecting his thoughts, and possibly his courage. Jensen tries to steel himself and do the same.

Jensen doesn’t know what to expect, doesn’t know exactly what Danneel has told Jared, but certainly it’s not what Jared says finally.

“This _is_ for you,” he blurts out as he stands back up, gesturing at himself. His face turns a fierce red as his eyes go wide, and then he’s stuttering when he continues. “What I mean to say is, I did this for you. To catch your attention. Not anyone else.”  
  
He seems satisfied with what he finally gets out, and so waits for Jensen to respond. Jensen’s heart is heavy.

“Jared,” he starts, as gently as he can despite how much it pains him. “You don’t have to do this. You’re welcome on my ship as you are. You don’t owe me, not like this. You can have whoever’s attention you so desire. Don’t be thinkin’ you need to do anything to please me apart from working hard aboard my ship.”  
  
“Jens–” Jared stops himself quickly. “Captain, please. I _want_ to. I want– I want _you_.”

Jensen’s heart trips over Jared’s words. Jensen tries to keep his expression in check, revealing nothing as he studies Jared’s face, notes how he’s stepped towards him, the space between them shrinking. Jared is still young, and going through so much; Jensen is apprehensive. His hesitation must show despite him, because Jared sighs and keeps going.

“I don’t know what you see when you look at me or what it is you’ve been through that makes you feel like you have to protect me from you,” Jared says quietly, taking another step closer. Jensen swallows thickly as Jared enters his space, where he can feel the heat from his body against his crossed forearms. He realizes the tactical error of having sat against the desk as Jared continues. “But don’t. I’m sure I do need protection, from lots out here in the Black, but not from you. Please, Captain.”

Jensen knows it’s coming. He could stop it, of course he could, but Jared reaches for his arms with hands that tremble, trying to steady himself, and Jensen just watches as he leans in. Time almost seems to stand still the moment before Jared presses his lips to Jensen’s, tentative for one, chaste kiss, then again, still closed-mouth but harder, more deliberate. Jensen doesn’t move – can barely breathe, honestly – and he watches how shaky Jared is as he pulls back just enough, looking at Jensen with fear, doubt, and something else akin to adoration. It makes Jensen’s own heart stutter while Jared’s fingers tighten on Jensen’s arm as though he might fall without the anchor.   

It’s more than Jensen can bear. He lets out his own shaky breath, uncrosses his arms, and reaches for Jared, drawing him in close.

“Jared…” he exhales in a rush, kissing him earnestly, coaxing his lips apart to taste him. He fails to stop the growl that escapes him then, and Jared echoes the sound with a whimper of his own that sends a shiver down Jensen’s spine. Jared melts into him completely, relaxing against his chest even as he clings to the front of Jensen’s shirt. Jensen teases Jared’s tongue with his own, and when he withdraws Jared chases him, kissing him back with little finesse made up for by so much want. Jensen is loathe to do it but Jared is a member of his crew – there’s no escaping each other out there, not on the same ship, and Jensen _has_ to be sure. And Jared should know, if they’re really going to do this. He breaks the kiss, gently pushing Jared back. They’re both panting, and when Jared looks at him with such desire in his eyes, Jensen almost gives in again.  
  
“You wanted to talk. We should talk.”

 

\---

 

Jared tries not to stumble over himself as he backs up just enough to sit down on the edge of Jensen’s bed again. He’s light-headed and hot all over, a kind of weakness behind his knees he’s never felt before. He was so sure he was going to make a fool of himself, taking Danneel’s word that Jensen wanted him, too, but then Jensen said his name as though he might be dying and kissed him just the same. He’s trying to catch his breath now and it looks as though Jensen is as well, so Jared doesn’t worry, but he isn’t sure what to say, either. He waits quietly, taking in the colour on his captain’s cheeks and the wet lushness of his lips. His eyes must linger too long, captivated so by Jensen’s features, that Jensen lets out a breathy chuckle, and leaning in to cup Jared’s cheek in his hand, he kisses him again quickly.

Afterward, he stands and takes a deep breath, letting it out in a big sigh as he paces in the small room. He only circles twice before he stops and looks at Jared very seriously.

“I was quite young when my family was murdered,” he says gravely, and Jared’s heart freezes in his chest, all his blood going cold. “T’was a long time ago. But the people who killed them also took me. I was… sold into a kind of slavery. The man who purchased me,” Jensen continues calmly, though his tone is harsh, “was a mean, sadistic bastard. Sick in the head, he was. Told me to be grateful, that I was better off by his side than on the street going hungry, that being with him was a privilege, and he’d _saved_ me from worser fates. I ran the first chance I could, though not before enduring him and his cruel perversions for long enough that it was years before I could stand to be touched by anyone else. Time and distance truly do ease the sting of the memories, make life livable, though it’s never felt…”  
  
He gestures absently in Jared’s direction then flushes deeply and turns away, clearing his throat to continue without looking at Jared, who can only stare in stunned, broken-hearted silence.

“Anyway, you can see how finding you in a crate in my cargo hold might bring some of that back to mind, since you were likely bound for a similar fate at the hands of that monster, Pellegrino.”

Jensen is looking at him now, standing before him, and Jared is still at a loss for words. He wants to thank Jensen again for even accidentally rescuing him from such a life, he wants to kiss him and make him forget, and he wants, so much, to shoot the man of whom Jensen speaks.

“How... ?” is what he weakly manages instead. The corner of Jensen’s mouth quirks up.

“There was a military garrison passing through. My captivity was on a remote moon, and the Federation would come by quarterly with supplies for the outpost. I escaped – barely – and stowed away on their ship, where I had my first stroke of luck. A kind captain with quite the soft spot. He could’ve sent me back, marooned me, who knows. Instead, he kept me on. I met Danneel there. And I started, slowly, to heal. The military gave me chance at life.”

“But you didn’t stay?” Jared asks, genuinely curious at that particular turn of events.

“Not all captains were like mine,” he explains easily. “Danneel and I stayed on with him until he retired, left the military himself to settle down somewhere quiet and out of the way. We learned pretty quickly after that the military wasn’t how we wanted to continue seeing the stars. We left, got into some good-natured trouble, found a ship that needed work…” he smiles fondly as he lays a hand on the wall, speaking of the _Jaybird_. “The rest you can surmise well enough.”

Jared nods. Despite the grim outset of his tale, the room is light again, and it’s not lost on Jared how few people may know this about Jensen’s life. He feels closer to his captain for the knowledge, more grateful, and – dammit to the Black – more in love with him.

“Captain, you’ve got to know you _did_ save me, accident or not. And it stands that I do owe you my life, more than I could’ve known, given your own history. But this…” Jared stands and gently places his hand over Jensen’s heart. “This is not out of obligation or repayment. This is because you… are more beautiful than any creature I’ve ever seen, and you make me feel like I never have before.”  
  
He makes himself hold Jensen’s gaze even though saying it out loud makes him feel childish and silly. Jensen lays his own hand over Jared’s where it rests on his chest, and it gives Jared the courage to continue.

“I lost everything. My family and the only home I ever knew, such as it was. You’ve given me another chance at life, and I want this. Enough to ask you for it. Please, give me this chance, too?”

Jared pleads with his whole heart, knows it shows in his eyes, and after a moment Jensen laughs and kisses him hard.

“Jared, I’m sorry. T’was not my intention to make you beg,” he apologies against Jared’s mouth. “Or let you believe you’d upset me. You never did such a thing. I’ve simply wanted this since the very moment I first saw you.”  
  
Jared barely feels as though he still inhabits his body with Jensen peppering his face with kisses, one of Jensen’s sail-roughened hands sliding up his neck to weave thick fingers in his hair. Everywhere Jensen touches him Jared feels alight, and he’s pulled in every direction chasing each sensation, leaning into Jensen’s kisses, pushing back against the hand at his head. He can’t keep up, can’t catch his breath, so is adrift in the sea of Jensen’s arms, letting the captain simply pour over him.

Jensen’s other hand slips around Jared’s waist, hidden under the loose billow of the shirt he’s wearing, and then it eases lower, palming over Jared’s ass, smooth in the tight, leather-like pants. Jensen groans as he digs his fingers in, grabbing a firm handful and urging Jared closer. He must’ve leaned back on the desk at some point because he’s unyielding as Jared crowds him, Jensen’s thigh a thick wedge between Jared’s legs. Jared jerks as Jensen kneads his backside, rocking them together and pressing Jared’s achingly hard dick – uncomfortably trapped in said tight pants – into his hip. Jared gasps, and white-knuckles Jensen’s shirt, dropping his head to Jensen’s shoulder.

“Jared,” Jensen loosens the hold he has both on Jared’s ass and in his hair in order to pause things and leans back. “Jared, look at me. Have you… this isn’t…?”  
  
Jared hesitates to turn toward him, knowing the answer will be clear on his face. He takes a breath and relents, embarrassed.

“What humans that live on Auston Station are not many, and they’re scattered. Those I know I’ve known my whole life, and those passing through are not usually pleasant,” he admits, trying to shrug it off.

“Oh my stars,” Jensen breathes, awed, and buries his face in Jared’s neck to kiss it once, twice, and again, then drags his teeth gently down its length, making Jared shiver. “I’m not going anywhere without you, you know. We don’t have to do this right now. We’ll have no shortage of time out there in the Black. When you’re ready.”  
  
He pulls back and looks at Jared so gently it makes Jared want to shake him as much as he wants to kiss him. He laughs, and opts to kiss him, fiercely, plundering his mouth with his tongue, charting every new, secret space.

“Jens– Captain,” he pants, finally taking a moment to let them both breathe. “I’m a virgin, not a child. I’ve been waiting. Don’t want to wait anymore. I’m ready now.”  
  
Jensen smiles devilishly and rocks his hip against Jared’s obvious hard on.

“Aye, that you are,” he purrs, playful like Jared hasn’t seen him before. “And if I’m to bed you, you best not be calling me Captain. Jensen’ll do just fine when it’s just us.”  
  
“Aye, sir,” Jared responds out of habit, and Jensen groans again, going hungrily for Jared’s mouth

Jensen renews his grip in Jared’s hair and on Jared’s ass, twisting his body so that they rub together now. Jensen brings him to the very edge of his sanity, mad for the way he instructs him wordlessly, with pushes and pulls, licks, nips, and kisses, hard and soft. The front of his pants are nearly soaked through for the eager leak of his dick, so that when Jensen reaches to tug Jared’s shirt off over his head, Jared is only too happy to take that as implied permission to do the same, unbuttoning Jensen’s shirt as quickly as he can manage with fingers so uncooperative. He shakes his head to get his hair out of his eyes once his shirt is gone, so he can see what he’s doing, but then Jensen is going for the tie on his pants, all the more difficult to undo for the way his erection pushes it taut. Jensen does get them open, tugging them down his hips, and Jared is finally, blissfully free. He lets out a relieved sigh, slipping his hands underneath Jensen’s open shirt to hold onto his waist.   

Jensen, meanwhile, looks down the length of Jared’s half-naked body and hums approvingly. He turns them and walks Jared back a step so he’s the one leaning on the desk now, and then he starts to quickly take off his long jacket and the shirt underneath, leaving Jared to brace himself with hands outstretched behind him. He takes in the newly revealed expanse of Jensen’s skin, space-pale and covered in freckles that spread across his shoulders and down his arms, private constellations for Jared to explore. Then Jensen nudges the inside of Jared’s foot with his own and drops to his knees between Jared’s legs, shirtless, flushed, and looking up at Jared with such intention that Jared might combust at the sight of him.

“Jared,” Jensen says seriously, holding Jared’s gaze despite the fact his dripping cock is bobbing mere inches in front of his face. “My first time – and so many of the times that followed – are memories I’d rather not have. It was a long time before I was able to do this on my terms and learn that it could be good. It can be _so_ good, Jared. I’ll make it so good for you, if you’ll let me. Just tell me it’s what you want. And you need only say if– if you want me to stop. Do you understand?”  
  
Jared nods, near frantic, wound so tight with Jensen making such a pretty picture before him, easily more turned on than he’s ever been in his life.

“Can I?” he smiles at Jared through his long lashes, giving Jared a playful squeeze where his hands rest on Jared’s naked hips.

“Yes, p-please, Cap– _Jensen_ ,” Jared can barely get the words out, but Jensen doesn’t make it easy on him, moving the moment Jared’s affirmation left his lips. Jensen nuzzles the base of Jared’s dick, pressed in as close as he can get, and he inhales deeply. Jared startles, his knees wobbling, and he shoots a hand out impulsively to reach for Jensen’s head.

“That’s it, Jared, hold on to me,” Jensen rumbles, turning his face to mouth along Jared’s cock, teasing with his tongue.

Jared can’t help the way his fingers dig into Jensen’s hair then, holding tightly as Jensen makes his way to the head, kissing it and sucking just the tip into his mouth, moaning like it’s the finest thing he’s ever tasted. With one hand on Jensen’s head and the other gripping the desk, it’s all Jared can do to stay standing when Jensen looks up at him, his lips parted around Jared’s dick, his green eyes dark, and then sinks all the way down Jared’s considerable length.  

Jared keens. It’s incredible, the hot, wet clutch of Jensen’s mouth, and he can feel the way Jensen's throat flutters around his head. Jensen swallows and Jared’s legs do buckle, but Jensen has him pressed so tightly to the desk, pinned between it and Jensen’s body, he doesn’t fall.

“ _Fuck!”_ he cries out, shuddering, and Jensen pulls off with an obscene noise, his chin shiny and the corners of his eyes glistening. He takes a few deep breaths, then tugs Jared pants down the rest of the way.

“Lose ‘em,” Jensen orders, voice rough in a way that sends a shivery-hot wave all the way to the tips of Jared’s ears. He nods dumbly and struggles to do as asked, kicking off his boots and pushing his pants off with his toes, Jensen helping hold him up all the while. Once he’s completely naked, Jensen takes him back into his mouth and finds an easy rhythm, leaving Jared to moan and babble incoherently above him. Jared is so distracted by the suck of Jensen’s mouth, he doesn’t realize what Jensen is doing until there’s a slippery finger snaking behind his balls and between his cheeks.

His eyes fly open and he looks down to see the open bottle of slick on the floor beside his pile of clothes, and it must’ve come from the desk, though Jared was not aware enough to notice Jensen get it.

Jensen catches his eye and pauses, gently petting at the tight whorl of muscle, waiting. Jared swallows hard and nods. Jensen manages a smile around his mouthful, takes Jared all the way down, and pushes in. Jared sucks in a breath at the intrusion and Jensen stills, letting him adjust, and eases off his dick. Slowly, he starts to slide his finger in and out, just holding the head of Jared’s cock in his mouth, and Jared relaxes again. Once Jared is moaning again, rocking his hips back to chase the movement of Jensen’s finger, he adds another. It’s more uncomfortable at first, and Jared hisses, but Jensen’s thumb massages his hip and and he still mouths at Jared’s cock, humming encouragingly. He works him open slowly, his fingers in and out at first and then scissoring them to make more room, and the first time they brush Jared’s prostate he gasps, curling down around Jensen’s head as he holds on.

“ _Oh_ ,” he sighs, and he can feel Jensen’s grin. Jensen keeps at it and it isn’t long before Jared is instinctively hitching his one knee up to make more room, to encourage and guide Jensen back to that place. His chest heaves with desperate breaths and he’s so close, Jensen’s fingers petting his prostate deliberately, making him shake so hard he may very well shake apart. Jensen seems to understand, and he lets go of Jared’s dick to do some encouraging of his own.

“That’s it, baby,” he purrs, low and breathy. “Stars, look at you. So beautiful, Jared. Come on. Come for me.”  
  
Jensen’s voice undoes him. Jared cries out as he comes, and after the first pulse paints Jensen’s face, he opens his mouth and leans into it to catch the rest on his tongue. Jared clutches at Jensen all the more tightly as it continues, pleasure wracking his body and leaving him weak. As the final waves subside, Jared tries to catch his breath, but his body is heavy, loose and sloppy. Jensen nurses at his cock gently until he shudders again, and then lets it go, spent and still half hard, his two fingers still buried to the last knuckle in Jared’s ass.

“Jensen,” Jared whispers, unable to find other words, and he’s starting to shiver now, standing there naked with his cock licked clean and wet.

Jensen kisses his hip, then watches Jared carefully as he withdraws his fingers. Jared frowns at the emptiness, but lets go ofJensen’s hair so Jensen can stand. He still has some of Jared’s come on one cheek, but Jensen leans in to kiss him, and the taste of himself in Jensen’s mouth makes his dick twitch with interest. He kisses up Jensen’s face, licking him clean, and then Jensen is pulling away.

“On the bed now, okay? Hands and knees. It’ll go easier that way,” Jensen instructs gently, and he keeps his hands on Jared’s hips as he makes his way there, keeping him steady as he climbs onto the bed on limbs that tremble.

Jared twists so he can see as Jensen strips the rest of the way out of his own clothes, watching shamelessly as Jensen reveals himself, his cock thick, flushed deeply, and shining wet at the tip. Jared feels a shock of want at the sight, and when Jensen knees onto the bed behind him, slick in hand, Jared moans desperately and pushes back to meet him.

Jensen laughs a little, breathless, and it sounds almost reverent.

“Still so wanting,” he whispers. “You’re killing me, Jared. I must have you. Please, tell me you’re ready. Tell me you’re sure, just once more.”

 

\---

 

Jensen doesn’t care that he’s begging now. The taste of Jared in his mouth has him high, and as he wraps his own slick-covered hand around his dick and Jared sits back to find him, pressing his ass to the head of Jensen’s cock, it’s a miracle he has any restraint left to speak of.

Jared pushes back more intently with a wiggle of his hips.

“I’m sure,” he promises. “Fuck me, Captain, _please_.” 

Jensen growls and pushes Jared forward. Jared goes easily at Jensen’s hand, dropping his head to rest on his forearms, ass up so his shiny, pink hole is right there for the taking. Jensen tosses the bottle of slick somewhere behind him, careless, and lines up at Jared’s entrance. Jensen presses the head of his cock to Jared’s hole and Jared instinctively moves away, the pressure a little more daunting than that of Jensen’s fingers.

“S-sorry,” Jared stutters, and pushes back against him tentatively. Jensen smooths his hand along Jared’s side.

“It’s alright, Jared,” he coos. “Easy now.”  
  
He pushes in past the first ring of muscle and bites his lip to keep from hissing. Jared is so tight, even after Jensen’s prep and having already come, and Jensen can feel Jared tense under him.

“Breathe, baby. Try to relax. That’s it, let me in, Jared.”  
  
Slowly, _so slowly_ , Jensen pushes deeper, all the way inside, and when he bottoms out he sighs with such incredible relief, the full length of him finally, completely enveloped by the clutch of Jared’s body. He drops his hands outside Jared’s shoulders and blankets him with his body, kissing his neck and teasing him with his teeth, forcing his hips still as Jared adjusts. The only sound in the room is both of their loud, panting breaths, and when Jared starts to move experimentally, Jensen moans.

Jared whimpers, too, not a painful sound but wanton, so Jensen is happy to start moving in earnest. He leans back and steadies himself with a firm grip on Jared’s hips. He pulls out slowly and slides all the way back in just once. 

“Oh, s-stars,” Jared curses on a gasp. “Again!”  
  
Jensen grins and repeats the move to more beautiful sounds from the boy beneath him. He doesn’t let up, driven by the broken noises Jared makes and Jensen fucks into him, the rhythm of his hips getting faster and harder as he races toward his own release. Sweat runs down the side of his face with the exertion of it all, and he sees that Jared’s back glistens with it, too. Jared’s body lurches a little as he lifts one arm and recentres himself, and Jensen watches as Jared reaches back to take himself in hand with a near-pained groan.

“Fuck, are you close, Jared? Can you come for me again? _Stars almighty_ ,” Jensen cries. “Let me feel you come on my cock– _ah!_ ”

Jared does come again on a shout, abruptly going still even as Jensen keeps pounding into him. His body tightens in waves around Jensen’s dick and Jensen gasps as he comes, too.

When Jensen open his eyes next, he finds he’s plastered to Jared’s back, their combined sweat sticking them together, Jared’s breathing laboured for the weight of him. His cock softens where it’s still buried in Jared’s ass, and Jensen can feel the warm wetness of his own come where it leaks out around him. He sighs, beyond content and loathe to move though the last thing he wants to do is smother Jared to death. He forces his arms under him and sits back to let Jared breathe better, their bodies coming apart with a sticky sound. Jared shifts and groans in a decidedly unhappy manner as Jensen slips out of him and exposes him to the cool air. Jensen makes a sympathetic sound and reaches to pet Jared’s cheek. He can’t resist pushing it a little to expose Jared’s used hole, and the sight of it, messy with slick and come, makes Jensen want to go again. He groans and leans down to plant a quick kiss to the small of Jared’s back, then makes himself stand, despite wanting little more than to not ever let Jared go.

Jared musters the strength to roll onto his side and watch what Jensen does, which is search for a cloth to do some cursory clean up. Jensen catches him watching and smiles at him.

“You alright?” Jensen inquires, his voice soft.

Jared snorts, laughing, and beams at him. “More than.”  
  
“Good,” Jensen says, pleased, and knees back onto the bed, urging Jared back onto his belly so he can wipe him up, which he does in amongst long, lingering touches and scattered kisses. Satisfied, he tosses the cloth aside to join the slick somewhere on the floor, and he lies down next to Jared, who rolls to face him, looking almost shy.

“You alright?” Jared asks, his eyes bright and searching Jensen’s. The obvious uncertainty in his voice makes Jensen’s heart ache. He’s so in love with this boy it scares him, and he doesn’t know how to say it, not yet, but he’ll do his best to show it.

“More than,” he echoes, whispering as he leans in to kiss him, to make sure he knows.

Jared falls asleep in Jensen’s arms, tucked up against his chest, and it isn’t long before Jensen joins him, happier and more at ease than he can ever remember being.

 

\---

 

Jared almost has to plead with Jensen to get him out of bed and join him for breakfast. Jensen resists, refusing even to say as much, simply growling and squeezing Jared to him all the more tightly when Jared suggests it. For a while, Jared is happy to keep asking if only for Jensen to find new ways to distract him, first with sleep-sour kisses, then searching, firm hands, and eventually, Jared on his back beneath him, pinned. Even Jared is delighted by this development, but just as Jensen pulls his hands above him and crosses them at the wrists, pressing them into the mattress with one hand, Jared’s stomach rumbles with such tenacity that Jensen’s eyes widen in surprise before he chuckles and, letting go of Jared’s wrists, sits back to allow Jared to get up.

“Guess you weren’t kidding,” he teases as they stand, and Jared does feel a little disappointment despite his hunger. His dick was particularly invested in the proceedings, but as Jensen dresses, tucking his own half-hard cock into his pants, he catches Jared’s eye with a dirty grin. “Don’t worry. This here’s unfinished business we’ll be tending to later.”  
  
Jared grins back at him and dresses in another old shirt and pants of Jensen’s, since all his new things were left behind in his bunk last night. Jensen looks significantly more put together as they leave his room, while Jared can feel himself start to blush as he tries to force some order to his wild hair, his boots untied and open at his ankles. Jensen looks over at him and laughs, reaching for his hand.

“There’s nothing for it,” he chuckles. “Leastaways not till you shower. It’s early morning yet, and we’re docked. Might as well enjoy the day off to the fullest.”  
  
“You’re not… worried about the rest of the crew?” Jared asks tentatively. He has worried, albeit briefly, about how appropriate it is for a captain to be involved with a member of his crew, but then, they are pirates. Jensen simply raises an eyebrow at him.  
  
‘Knowing about us, I mean,” Jared explains, his face burning hotly at the memory of last night, this morning, and how desperately he wants to spend more time cooped up in Jensen’s cabin.    
  
“You think they don’t know?” Jensen teases. “They most certainly know. Stars, Danneel will be taking all the credit she can. There’s naught to be worried about, except how long it might take them to shut up about it. You may as well brace yourself, since I can hear they’ve beaten us to breakfast.”  
  
Jensen pauses as they approach the door and makes a show of squaring his shoulders and being quiet as he enters the galley. Jared swallows thickly and wishes his face were less red as he follows the captain in, the conversation in the room coming to a suspicious halt.

“Morning, Captain,” Chris says cheerily. “Jared, morning.”

“Morning,” Jensen answers cooly, heading directly for the synthesizer to order coffee.  
  
“Aye, it is a good morning, isn’t it?” Danneel agrees from behind her mug. “Don’t you think, Jason?”  
  
“Hm,” Jason muses, and Jared stands behind Jensen waiting to get his breakfast, trying to blend into the galley wall as a lewd grin spreads across Jason’s face. “Aye, though better for some than others, I reckon.”  
  
“Someone’s brand new bunk was suspiciously empty, is all I’m sayin’,” Steve chimes in between mouthfuls of egg, looking up to point his fork in Jared’s direction. “Not naming names or anything.”

Sadie appears in the air next to Jason and goes right for Jared, flying up and down above his head, chirping noisily as if to join in on Steve’s not-so-subtle accusation.  
  
Chris breaks then, starting to laugh and spitting into his juice. The rest of crew take up the laughter as well, and Danneel is beaming as she winks at Jared. He’s still wary but it actually helps, and Jared is more at ease despite, or perhaps even because of, the good-natured teasing of the crew.

“Alright, you lot of space waste, that’s enough. You’re gonna give the kid a complex,” Jensen barks as he takes his seat at the end of the table, but there’s a glimmer in his eye even Jared sees that betrays his gruffness.

“We don’t mean nothing by it, Jared,” Chris amends warmly. “Pay us no mind. It’s the Captain we’re tryin’ to rattle.”  
  
Jared smiles and busies himself with ordering breakfast, the menu significantly more varied now that they’ve restocked.  
  
“Wait,” Steve fake-whispers, voice soft but loud for all to hear. “I thought t’was Jared rattlin’ the Captain?” 

Jared turns around with his tray only to blush more brightly at that, and Jensen glares evenly at Steve while the crew erupts in another bout of laughter.

“You have permission to throw food at him if you should be so inclined,” Jensen says quietly, sipping his coffee.

Jared isn’t sure if he’s kidding but then Danneel, sitting on Jensen’s other side and obviously having heard, nods at him excitedly to do it. Jared is sure he’s heard an expression akin to _if you can’t beat them, join them_ , so after a brief moment’s consideration he grabs a piece of fried potato off his plate and tosses it easily into the side of Steve’s head.

“Oi!” he exclaims, startled, and the rest of the crew can only keep laughing, and Sadie bumps into Steve’s temple once or twice for added good measure.

“You’re alright, kid,” Jason concedes, as they finally start to calm down, and Jared can’t stop smiling.

There is room for Jared on the bench next to Jason, but the crew’s ribbing has made him brave, so Jared doesn’t let himself second guess it as he puts his tray down next to Jensen’s coffee and sits on the Captain’s outstretched knee, tucking himself in at Jensen’s side.

Chris lets out a low whistle as Jared makes himself comfortable, smiling as he takes the first bite of his food and Jensen’s arm wraps around his waist.

“What do you think, Captain?” Danneel asks playfully. “Shall we be keeping him?”  
  
The room is comfortably quiet as they await Jensen’s answer, and Jared knows she’s teasing, isn’t worried, but he turns to look at Jensen while he answers.

Jensen is looking right back at him, lovingly like the smile he wears is just for Jared. “Aye. Though I do believe it’s he that’ll be keeping me.”

With that he leans in and kisses Jared easily, tasting of coffee and home. Jared might’ve been taken from family and lost to a nightmare life but by some blessing of the Black he was found, taken in by people to help him make a new life out here in the vastness of space. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever make it back to Auston Station – he truly hopes that he does – but for now, he’s safe, and even loved. With Jensen and the crew of the _Jaybird_ at his side, Jared is ready for whatever adventure awaits.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Comments and kudos are love! ❤️


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